Suit #1: Dude, that is disgusting! Did he like it?
Suit #2: He said it tasted like chicken…
Suit #1: Dude!
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: SUSAN
Archive for the ‘Words’ Category
And Then Say It in Spanish So We Can Learn the Language
Spanish babysitter: These people are working me to death. They have me doing all their errands.
French babysitter: I know.
Spanish babysitter: I hate my job!
Four-year-old boy: No, you can’t say that. You should always say “I don’t like my job.”
–72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: z
Sylvia Hadn’t Realized They Were off Staten Island.
Suit, tapping singing girl on the shoulder: You sing wonderfully.
Girl: Thank you very much.
Suit: Yeah, by “wonderfully” I mean it sounds like a cat getting ass raped by a donkey. So I am sure that everyone else would appreciate you not doing that anymore as it is only 6 am.
(passengers clap)
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
And Look What Happened to Them.
Drunk white girl #1: African Americans smoked a lot of weed back in the day.
Drunk white girl #2: Yeah! That’s why they’re so strong and shit today. Weed is what made the blacks strong!
Drunk white girl #1: Oh… Did I say “African Americans”? I meant to say “American Indians.”
(both laugh)
–Outside Le Bar Bat, Hell’s Kitchen
American Booty Failed to Draw Crowds to Theaters
Large black woman sitting down on park bench: Oooh, my booty itchy!
Large black woman friend, sitting down with her: Ha ha! You talkin’ bout “my booty itchy!”
–Avenue of the Americas & Canal
Circumcision Peels the Potato; Neutering Juliennes It
Man: We had him circumcised.
Woman: Circumcised?
Man: Yeah, whatever you do with dogs. You know…
Woman: Neutered?
Man: Isn’t that the same thing?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Nettle
Why Thorazine Is Contraindicated for Service Employees
Yankee fan: Yeah, I’ll have a grilled chicken sandwich and a vanilla iced coffee.
Apathetic cashier: Crispy chicken sandwich?
Yankee fan: No, grilled, sorry about that–I thought I said grilled.
Apathetic cashier: And you wanted a Diet Coke?
Yankee fan: No, a vanilla iced coffee.
Cashier: Oh.
–McDonald’s, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Rachel W.
That’s Why the Internet Was Invented, Brainiac
Guy #1: I typed “gentrification” on Google Images and I got titties.
Guy #2: Man, you can type in anything and get titties.
–Bushwick
From the Monastic Tradition
Little girl: Hey mom, what’s a cloister?
Little boy: It’s a Pokemon, duh!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Melissa
We’re Sure There’s a “Brazilian Rainforest” Joke in Here Somewhere
Student #1: She’s from the Dominican Republic, right?
Student #2: Um, yeah, I think so.
Student #1: Is she classy…?
Student #2: Eh, not really, no. At the meeting the other day, she was wearing a skirt. I could see her cooch.
Student #3: [Just joining the conversation] What’s a cooch?
[Silence.]Student #1: Her vagina.
Student #2: Her forest. Except it was barren. There were no trees. Barren.
–Columbia University
