Guy #1, with thick Long Island accent: What is the plural for “coffee”?
Guy #2: Just put an “s” on it. “Coffees.” Same as with “sheep.” I think it is the same because of the two “e“s.
–40th St & 5th Ave
Archive for the ‘Words’ Category
Ahem –That’s “Womyn”
Gangsta #1: … And then these bitches…
Gangsta #2: Wo-men. Nigga, they’re women!
–26th & 8th
Wasn’t That a He-Man Villain?
Stoner: How do you spell “helter skelter”?
Friend: …exactly like it sounds.
Stoner: H‑e-l-k-e-t-o‑r s‑k-e-l-e-t-o‑r?
Friend: (shakes head in dismay)
–N Train
… That Coun’th
Chick #1: I had the best date last night… It was so big.
Chick #2: You don’t even know, girl. It’s not the length, it’s the roun’th.
–L train
Overheard by: Heather
And Get Stuffed and Mounted
Guy: So, what do you want to do?
Drunk girl: I’m really good with numbers, so maybe something like that?
Guy: You mean, like, accounting?
Drunk girl: Yeah. I want to be a taxidermist.
–In front of Subway Inn, 60th & Lex
One of Them British Words Made Up by Nancy Stouffer
Guy: Naw, naw, I read that he died.
Girl: J.K. Rowling is a woman, and she’s not dead; she just wrote this book.
Guy: Naw…you sure? I really think I read that he died.
Girl: No! Anyway, she said that in the wizarding world, Muggles–
Guy: Muggles? Oh, is that one of those British words?
Girl: No, it’s just a word she made up.
Guy: Right, and we wouldn’t understand it here, because it’s one of them British words.
–M train
Overheard by: Kev
I Feel Sorry for the Poor Bitch
Girl: Did you hear about that new dog they’re breeding? It’s called
a pewgle.
Guy: What kinda dog is that?
Girl: Oh, it’s a pug and um…um…a bugle.
–Deli, 53rd & 6th
Overheard by: Janelle F
Oh Maybe God!
Hipster chick #1: You know the girl I was telling you about, who didn’t even know what “agnostic” means?
Hipster chick #2: Yeah. That stupid bitch!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: reverie
Headline by: Coyoty
Runners-Up:
· “Blessed Are the Stupid Bitches, for They Shall Infuriate the Self-Righteous” — Cyrious Garnetski
· “I Believe That We Can Never Know If She Is a Stupid Bitch or Not.” — Hysterical Woman
· “I Hope She Burns In… Nothingness” — Meg
· “To Be Precise, She Said There Was No Way to Know What Agnostic Means” — Barry P.
· “Why Nuns Have Few Friends” — seven5suited
Wednesday’s Too Sexy for Its One-Liners
Thug: Yo, baby! You so sexy! You look just like Ugly Betty!
–26th & Lex
Overheard by: Myrtle
Wandering popcorn vendor : Popcorn! Get your sexy popcorn here!
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Mets Fan
Ghetto mom to young sons: Where my sexy glasses at?!
–W 96th St & Central Park West
Overheard by: Megan W.
Teen thugette: You know who sexy? Mickey Mouse. That nigga sexy!
–Q11 bus, Queens
Jogger: I’m checking out my shadow to see how long my hair is in the back — it’s fuckin’ sexy!
–Central Park
Man: I love sexy cheese. I love sexy cheese!
–Outside Fordham University
Overheard by: …sexy cheese?
Not in the Face, Wednesday One-Liners
Girl on cell: You keep talking over me – it makes me want to punch you in the uterus.
–Ray’s Pizza, 52 & 8th
Overheard by: Jarett
Guy to friend: You keep referring to me as “that guy” and we’ll see how long you stay conscious.
–33rd & 7th
Nervous man seated against the wall: I don’t like this seat. I don’t like sitting here. I like to sit on the aisle. What if there’s a fight? I don’t want to be trapped in a place with a fight.
–Off-Broadway Theatre
Overheard by: Hannah
Ghetto chick: Can’t you get somebody else to fuck him up? Why you gotta do it?
–W Train
Overheard by: sara n.
Man: He was trying to turn his alcoholism into a positive thing instead of attacking the guy who raped his sister.
–The Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: Slightly confused, yet intrigued…
Girl on cell: Remember that time you got into a fight with an inch worm?
–Chambers St
Overheard by: Shooty
