Archive for the ‘Words’ Category

…And Now I'm Erect.

Hipster #1: I'm not a hipster. I'm a bisexual Jew with a penchant for interning at alternative magazines and weeklies.
Hipster #2: You've got the words “bisexual, Jew, penchant, interning,” and “alternative” in a single sentence. Dude, that is the definition of hipster.

–Think Coffee

Keep Your Wednesday One-Liner in Your Pants, Dude

Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Hunter

Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I'll take him!

–26th St & Lexington Ave

Overheard by: your mom

Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.

–D Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Girl on cell: All I'm saying is: don't jump on the first penis that comes along!

–Broadway

Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.

–5th Ave

Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for "penis" in the first scene!

–Junior High School

Overheard by: gabygrillz

Negative Twenty ‘Hood Points Just for Knowing the Word ‘Cosine’

Ghetto wannabe #1: Yo’ rhymes are so lame it’s like you took the cosine.
Ghetto wannabe #2: You so poor you go fishin’ for dimes.

–Woodhaven, Queens

Overheard by: drendar

Headline by: Against Marj

Runners-Up:

· “Bill and Hillary Prepare for Next Year’s Video Music Awards” – DoubleJ

· “Cosine? Like from Nigganometry?” – Big Larry

· “E = MC Hammer Squared” – Christina

· “M.C. Tangent and D.J. Non-Sequitur.” – SandmanEsq

· “My rhymes are so hype I can divide by zero, Burnin’ down the ghetto like my name is Nero” – mk

· “Whitey got no algorithm” – Charlie

· “Why Pythagorus never got sined.” – Julie Baber

· “Yo’ so dumb you only know pi to 3.14159” – arielle


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