Archive for the ‘Yankee Stadium’ Category

Why Tho­razine Is Con­traindi­cat­ed for Ser­vice Em­ploy­ees

Yan­kee fan: Yeah, I’ll have a grilled chick­en sand­wich and a vanil­la iced cof­fee.
Ap­a­thet­ic cashier: Crispy chick­en sand­wich?
Yan­kee fan: No, grilled, sor­ry about that–I thought I said grilled.
Ap­a­thet­ic cashier: And you want­ed a Di­et Coke?
Yan­kee fan: No, a vanil­la iced cof­fee.
Cashier: Oh.

–Mc­Don­ald’s, Yan­kee Sta­di­um

Over­heard by: Rachel W.

Wednes­day One-lin­ers

Russ­ian la­dy: She loves to trav­el. Like some peo­ple al­co­holics? She
loves to trav­el.

–Fu­naya­ma, Green­wich Av­enue

Guy on cell: Hey Maria? It’s John…from Biology…Oh, you can’t talk? OK. I love you. Bye.

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Eu­ro chick: No sil­ly, Amer­i­can foot­ball is like a girly ver­sion of rug­by, they have rules and pads.

–66th & Lex­ing­ton

Man: Look at all these lit­tle ba­nanas! I don’t want none a these. These lit­tle ba­nanas are for ladies.

–28th & Park fruit stand

Woman: You think that the play­ers look at their butts in the mir­ror to see what we see?

–Yan­kee Sta­di­um bleach­ers

Over­heard by: Aryeh Jasper

The Yan­kees Re­al­ly Need to Hire Some Vi­cious British Soc­cer Hooli­gans

Yan­kee fan, see­ing girl in Red Sox hat: Booo! Boooo!
Red Sox girl’s friend: Leave her alone! She’s hot! Leave her alone!
Yan­kee fan: Booo! Red Sox suck!
Red Sox girl’s friend: She’s got big boobs, leave her alone!
Yan­kee fan: I’ve seen boobs be­fore! Booo!
(lat­er)
Yan­kee fan: Red Sox suck! Booo!
Red Sox girl’s friend: Leave her alone, she’s hot!
Yan­kee fan: That’s your opin­ion! Booo!

–Yan­kee Sta­di­um

Any­one Else Wish He’d Just Smoke the Crack Al­ready?

Base­ball fan #1: Oh, I’m go­ing to get laid tonight.
Base­ball fan #2: Are you go­ing to call Al­ice?
Base­ball fan #1: Oh no, you don’t un­der­stand my life, man! I’ve got this girl who just sits on a milk crate and sucks my cock!
Base­ball fan #2: Dude!
Base­ball fan #2: Where does she do this? On a crate? What?
Base­ball fan #1: You don’t un­der­stand my life, man! She just does it wher­ev­er! I’m lit­er­al­ly ready to smoke crack at any minute!
Base­ball fan #2: Man, we don’t want to know.
Base­ball fan #1: I’m ready to smoke crack at any minute! You just can’t con­trol these things.

–Yan­kee Sta­di­um

Over­heard by: si­mon