Archive for the ‘Yankee Stadium’ Category

Just for That, No Ham­dogs for You

Yan­kee fan #1: What do you like bet­ter — hot dogs or ham­burg­ers?
Yan­kee fan #2: I like ’em both, man.
Yan­kee fan #1: You can’t like ’em both! Hot dogs and ham­burg­ers are mor­tal en­e­mies, ass­hole. Every­one knows that!

–Yan­kee Sta­di­um

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Find Their Niche

Ten-year-old wannabe thug: I’­ma put this can of pep­per spray up your ass! You want me to put this up your ass?!

–Old Navy, Harlem

Wor­ried beard­ed 50-some­thing: Yeah, but how are we go­ing to film an anal birth!?

–F Train

Street ven­dor sell­ing his wares: I will shove your foot up the dev­il’s ass!

–St Mark’s Place

Yan­kee sta­di­um em­ploy­ee yelling to an­oth­er: Hey, would­ja bend over for a minute? I’ll be right back!

–Yan­kee Sta­di­um

Over­heard by: tor­rie

Gay teen: His hole was as big as a traf­fic cone!

–1st & 14th

Sin­ful­ly ug­ly girl: I have to stop putting things in my ass.

–for­ev­er 21 (queens cen­ter mall)

Over­heard by: de­frag­ment my hard­drive

Noth­ing Makes Me Come Like Some Zyk­lon, Re­dux

Queer: Why do you like him? The guy be­hind us in the black shirt is so much hot­ter.
Hag: Ew…
Queer: You know I like those big, rough Ger­man types…if he put me in a camp, just imag­ine all the ter­ri­ble things he would do to me.
Hag: …Would you stop star­ing at him?
Queer: I so want him to rape me.
Hag: Get over it, he’s not gay!
Queer: What­ev­er, if we were in prison he’d so be do­ing me.

–Yan­kee Sta­di­um

Over­heard by: Smack Jack

Guy: This is go­ing to sound aw­ful but Ryan Gosling was re­al­ly hot in that movie where he played the Nazi with the shaved head.
Girl: Yeah, he was a hot Nazi in that movie. A hotzi, if you will.

–92nd Street Y

Over­heard by: Kel­ly

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers: Great for Bach­e­lor Par­ties!

16-year-old girl on cell: So like, for Hal­loween my mom told me about this strip club we could go to…

–110th & Cen­tral Park West

Over­heard by: so­phie Balis-Har­ris

Drunk stum­bling Yan­kee meat­head to fel­low meat­heads: Yo! Let’s get some fuck­ing strip­pers! I don’t give a fuck about my girl­friend! (paus­es and looks around) If I drop any more beer on this woman… (spills half his cup on her back) Ah, fuck.

–Yan­kee Sta­di­um

Over­heard by: seat 12 sec­tion 23

20-some­thing woman on cell: What, you had sex with that strip­per?!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Liz

Drunk suit: Yeah…we did it up fo’ my son’s 18th birf­day. He be grad­u­atin and all this year, so we sprung fo’ a strip­per.

–Q67 Bus

Over­heard by: Kate

Teen scream­ing in­to cell: Strip­per. (pause) No, strip­per!

–Lit­tle Italy