Archive for the ‘Yeaaahhh College!’ Category


Guy #1: Okay…Wow…This one time in Madi­son I was so drunk…I was try­ing to get this soror­i­ty girl to come home with me and she said she would if I got rid of her ex-boyfriend (he was hang­ing out with us.) That’s all I re­mem­ber from that night! I woke up the next morn­ing, in bed, soak­ing wet, with a pulled groin mus­cle and scrapes all over my knees and el­bows!
Guy #2: What the fuck?
Guy #1: Yeah! I had to ask around to find out what hap­pened. Ap­par­ent­ly, I sor­ta, uh, fell in the lake in Madison–I pulled my groin mus­cle there–then I pulled my­self out and crawled home on hands and knees since I could­n’t walk.
Guy #2: What…the fuck…?

–B1 bus

Over­heard by: Justin Fores

Al­so, Our Eyes aren’t Open as Wide

Col­lege chick #1: Have you ever no­ticed it al­ways gets dark re­al­ly ear­ly dur­ing this time of year?
Col­lege chick #2: Yeah, I no­ticed it, too. But I was think­ing that since it’s gen­er­al­ly cloudi­er in au­tumn and win­ter that it re­al­ly is­n’t dark out ear­li­er, it’s just re­al­ly cloudy.
Col­lege chick #1: Wow, that makes so much sense!


I Think He’s a La­tent Wednes­day One-lin­er

Suit: I’m al­ways re­al­ly care­ful when I eat so I don’t have to take it up the ass when I go to the dry clean­er.

–Or­gan­ic Grill, 1st Av­enue

Man: I’m telling you, what you should do is take a pic­ture of your­self naked now and then in about two, three months, take an­oth­er one and com­pare. Maybe keep do­ing that, you know? Keep a pho­to al­bum doc­u­ment­ing it. I think you should.

–F train

Over­heard by: Jen­ni Uni­corn

Man on cell: Okay, I got­ta go ’cause I’m fuck­ing sweat­ing my dick off.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Kevin Kil­roy

Col­lege guy: Have you ever jacked off with your feet?

–TK­TS, Duffy Square

Guy on cell: I have a blood clot in my ass­hole!

–15th & 3rd

Woman: He’s a good friend, but the sex is pret­ty aw­ful. He a good kiss­er, but he has trou­ble fur­ther than that. I’m just not his type. I don’t have a pe­nis.

–West 4th Street sta­tion

Over­heard by: Rachel Adler

Puer­to Ri­can guy: Sec­ond-best feel­ing in the world. First is sex. I
guar­an­tee it.

–Barnes & No­ble men’s room, Union Square