Archive for the ‘Yiddish’ Category

Hooked on Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Worked for Me!

Tween girl: No, it’s “Yid­dish”! “Yid­dish,” not “rib­bit.”

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: rag­n­vaeig

20-some­thing girl to old­er friend: No, no… “ghet­to” is just slang–it’s not a re­al word.

–PATH Train

Guy on cell: Yo. (pause) Yo, yo. (pause) Yo, yo. (pause) Yo, yo, yo.

–Pa­cif­ic St & At­lantic Ave

Over­heard by: jay­loo

Guy to an­oth­er, who has ob­vi­ous­ly caused him some emo­tion­al strife: I just don’t un­der­stand why you had to did me so dirty.

–Hud­son Riv­er Park

Teenage boy: But I ain’t know where was them talkin’ about it! (teenage friend nods sym­pa­thet­i­cal­ly)

–Down­town 6 Train

Girl to guy: It must be your manstinct. (pause) Not ya manstink!

–Cen­tral Park

‘…A Na­tion Where They Will Not be Judged by the Col­or of Their Skin, But by the Blood Al­co­hol Con­tent of Their Char­ac­ter’

Drunk girl, to own­er of piz­za place: Has­ta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Ital­ian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Ital­ian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yid­dish and Greek!

–30th & 3rd

Parve Wednes­day One-lin­ers

Bounc­er: You see, the schlemiel is the guy who spills his soup in a restau­rant. The schli­mazel is the guy who has the soup spilled on him.

–1st & A

Guy: Well, what col­or was this Jew?

–Fort Greene

Woman on cell: …That’s just so not my thing. I am not that kind of Jew, Lar­ry, okay?

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Nicole

La­dy lawyer: This is a dis­as­ter. They should nev­er put non-Jews in charge of the cater­ing.

–Of­fice, Rock­e­feller Plaza

Chick: Come to think of it, all of my Jew­ish friends went to sum­mer camp. Is­n’t that kind of iron­ic though; Jews at camp?

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty, Lin­coln Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Aman­da

Teen boy: I want to be Jew­ish when I grow up.

–A train

Over­heard by: drewseph

Guy on cell: You de­serve a gold Jew­ish Star of David!…Did you swallow?…Yeah, that’s true, one step at a time.

–As­to­ria

Over­heard by: SEM