Archive for the ‘Yuppies’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Did Coke in the ’80s

Young la­dy yup­pie on cell: It is a per­fect­ly nor­mal fear to be afraid of bub­bles!

–83rd & Broad­way

Over­heard by: KS

Yup­pie chick hold­ing hands with yup­pie boyfriend: Pe­nis, pe­nis, pe­nis, pe­nis.

–As­tor Place

Over­heard by: sarah

Yup­pie chick on cell: The thing about my ex is it’s, like, the sto­ry of ‘If you give a mouse a fuck­ing cook­ie, I mean, even­tu­al­ly he’ll want to climb in­to bed with you and have you read him a fuck­ing bed­time sto­ry.’

–Rec­tor St

Yup­pie: Let’s go find my ex-fi­ance and beat her up.

–46th & 8th

I Run the Hobo Gaunt­let Every Day

Yup­pie girl: I need to get an ex­fo­liant. You know that weird rough patch on my face?
Yup­pie guy: Yeah.
Yup­pie girl: I had it for a few weeks and just re­al­ized it was dead skin cells.
Yup­pie guy: Ew.
Yup­pie girl: Yeah, I just thought it was dried spit.

–Whole Foods check-out line, Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: bathed and ex­fo­li­at­ed dai­ly

And I Know a Lot about Ug­ly

Yup­pie woman #1: So, why don’t you buy their prod­ucts? Is it be­cause of the whole child la­bor thing?
Yup­pie woman #2: No, I don’t give a shit about that — I’m a Re­pub­li­can. I just think their prod­ucts are ug­ly.

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: Gra­ham Davis

Many of Us Are Even at Jim’s Lev­el

Yup­pie mom #1: Can you be­lieve that there are peo­ple liv­ing in this city who make un­der two hun­dred thou­sand dol­lars?
Yup­pie mom #2: Re­al­ly?
Yup­pie mom #1: Yes, I’d nev­er do that. I would­n’t want to live like a Huck­le­ber­ry Finn.

The con­ver­sa­tion then got too low for me to hear af­ter they saw I was eaves­drop­ping and giv­ing them the evil eye.

–River­side Park

News­Flash: New Jer­sey Builds Im­mi­gra­tion Wall

Yup­pie on cell cut­ting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cook­ies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yup­pie, in­to cell: I hate the fuck­ing East Side. Every­one thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t fig­ure out this fuck­ing line — all I want to do is buy some fuck­ing cook­ies… New Jer­sey is my des­tiny.

–Bak­ery, 70th & Lex