Yuppie girlfriend: I can’t play this damn guitar!
Yuppie boyfriend: That’s okay. If you can’t play the guitar, you can always be a prostitute.
–A train
Overheard by: HC
Archive for the ‘Yuppies’ Category
…Just Like It Says on Our State Crest.
Yuppie woman, bumping into hobo: Oh, I’m sorry!
Hobo, turning around and following her: That’s okay! This is fucking New York! Don’t apologize! Bitches be knocking into everyone all the time!
–3rd Ave & 13th St
It’s Really Not the University’s Fault
Woman #1: Did you hear? We’re going into Iran.
Woman #2: Really? Why?
Woman #1: Dunno.
Woman #2: Wasn’t there, like, an earthquake there?
Woman #1: When? Recently?
Woman #2: Hmm.
Woman #1: Well, so much for our Princeton educations.
–Madame X, Houston St.
Overheard by: Djlindee
Hey, I Barely Care about New York
Yuppie lady boasting about son: He graduated summa cum laude from Villanova!
Cashier: Vee-la-no-va? Is that in New York?
Yuppie lady: No, it’s in–
Cashier, interrupting: –Yeah, then I don’t care.
–Clothing store, 54th & 5th
Wednesday One-Liners Did Coke in the ’80s
Young lady yuppie on cell: It is a perfectly normal fear to be afraid of bubbles!
–83rd & Broadway
Overheard by: KS
Yuppie chick holding hands with yuppie boyfriend: Penis, penis, penis, penis.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: sarah
Yuppie chick on cell: The thing about my ex is it’s, like, the story of ‘If you give a mouse a fucking cookie, I mean, eventually he’ll want to climb into bed with you and have you read him a fucking bedtime story.’
–Rector St
Yuppie: Let’s go find my ex-fiance and beat her up.
–46th & 8th
I Run the Hobo Gauntlet Every Day
Yuppie girl: I need to get an exfoliant. You know that weird rough patch on my face?
Yuppie guy: Yeah.
Yuppie girl: I had it for a few weeks and just realized it was dead skin cells.
Yuppie guy: Ew.
Yuppie girl: Yeah, I just thought it was dried spit.
–Whole Foods check-out line, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: bathed and exfoliated daily
And I Know a Lot about Ugly
Yuppie woman #1: So, why don’t you buy their products? Is it because of the whole child labor thing?
Yuppie woman #2: No, I don’t give a shit about that — I’m a Republican. I just think their products are ugly.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Because the Temptations Are Too Great
A buppie is parking his BMW, blasting a ’50s rock ‘n roll tune out the window.
Thug: Why a nigga wanna be listenin’ to that shit?
–Brooklyn Heights
Many of Us Are Even at Jim’s Level
Yuppie mom #1: Can you believe that there are people living in this city who make under two hundred thousand dollars?
Yuppie mom #2: Really?
Yuppie mom #1: Yes, I’d never do that. I wouldn’t want to live like a Huckleberry Finn.
The conversation then got too low for me to hear after they saw I was eavesdropping and giving them the evil eye.
–Riverside Park
Subway Base Jumpers Plan the Ultimate Video
Yuppie #1: I told James I could do it, but it would be better if I worked my way up to it.
Yuppie #2: Gotcha. You think I should film it? I guess I could always delete it…
–Q train
Overheard by: Ben Couch
