Archive for March, 2005

Surely She Doesn’t Mean Ronald reggiN?

Woman: …you know, he was much darker than the other kids who were really white, so he was called a nigger. He was dyslexic.
Man: Wha?
Woman: But he was a strong boy. One time when he was bitten by a dog, I came in to his room and he was lying there with blood on him. He didn’t scream or say a word…a very strong boy.
Man: What are you talking about?

–Times Square

The Short Bus to the Candy Shop

HS girl: Do you listen to 50 Cent? Oh, my god, he is so good!
HS guy: Do you know what they say when you are listening to 50 Cent?
HS girl: What do they say?
HS guy: What are you listening to when you have two quarters next to your ear?
HS girl: Ha, ha…I don’t get it.

–Q46 bus

Overheard by: Ting

Mouthfuls of Wednesday One-liners

Scottish chick on cell: He’s sort of like the John Tesh of tonsils, isn’t he?

–60th & 1st

Overheard by: zunshyn

Guy: I think I know enough about compound plastic to perform basic dentistry.

–1/9 train

Overheard by: Kathryn Galloway

Tech kid: I can, like, smell which microphone you’re using.

–NYU Education building, Washington Square east

Missing Pieces of Wednesday One-liners

Bald spot chick: I’m bipolar, depressed, and I have a personality disorder, but the doctor says if I quit pulling out my hair he’ll change me from twenty-four medicines to nineteen.

–Broadway & 51st

Woman: I don’t care how blind you are, you gotta cover your ears when that happens.

–23rd & 7th

Woman: There aren’t enough websites for club-thumbs on the internet.

–Midtown office

Lunchtime! Wednesday One-liners

Guy on cell: My life is a falafel. No, no, wait, it’s a pita. My life is a pita.

–Broadway & Astor Place

Teen boy: When I get home, I’m gonna get me one of them nutrient shake shits.

–M23 bus

Overheard by: Jon Graboff

Woman: I didn’t like the emu there. I’m not going to like it here.

–Eight Mile Creek, Mulberry Street

Overheard by: james uphoff