Queer #1: Honey, my vagina is itchy.
Queer #2: So scratch it.
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: Winnie
Archive for April, 2005
Does She Fuck Chicks or Does She Fuck Eggs?
Graphics girl: OK, I’m a chitter-chatterbox.
Editor: Did you just say you’re a chicken pederast?
–27th Street office
Where Are They Now?: Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
Preppy guy: Are you sure?
Non-Preppy guy: I’m telling you…I think she’s a prostitute.
Preppy guy: She doesn’t have the face for it.
Non-Preppy guy: I know, but she does have the body.
Preppy guy: That’s a fucking shame if she is one. Her family has billions and billions of dollars. She doesn’t need to be doing that.
–Prime Burger, 51st Street
Overheard by: Shirley Grace
Fucking a Hamburger is Kind of a Gray Area
Boy #1: Do you want to split a bun?
Boy #2: No! I’m not gay!
Boy #1: “Split a bun” means a fucking hamburger, you asshole!
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: CAP
It’s Not Capitalism If There Aren’t Hobos with AIDS
Woman #1: I’m talking about beggars who ask for money, say they have AIDS, and will spit on you.
Woman #2: That’s not really begging anymore, now is it?
Woman #1: No…that’s called Free Enterprise.
–70th & 2nd
Overheard by: nita
Society is Collapsing All Around Us
Guy: I wish they played music in these things so it wouldn’t be so awkward.
–Midtown elevator
Overheard by: Gabe Connor
They Know Not What They Do…or Say
Guy #1: I don’t care about the goddamn pope anymore! What is it, it’s on the front page of every paper. Who cares?
Guy #2: I know, he’s going to die in a few years anyway.
–20th & 7th
Overheard by: Tom
Rarely is Anti-Semitism This Explicit
Chick #1: He’s so hot.
Chick #2: Eww.
Chick #1: What eww?
Chick #2: Um, he’s wearing a shirt that says “Spin my dreidel, and by dreidel I mean cock, and by spin I mean suck”.
Chick #1: That is a valid point.
–Asylum, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: djlindee
Too Bad She Stole Your Jewelry
Middle-aged woman #1: Yeah, my cleaning woman is the greatest! Last time, she color-matched and coordinated all of my lipsticks and arranged them in a row for me!
Middle-aged woman #2: Oh my god! I’d swoon!
–Midtown elevator
How Many Licks Does It Take?
Freestyling hobo: Sex on TV will never stop. My big dick in a lollipop.
Bonus: The blueblood ladies walking by gasped.
–40th & 2nd