Pizza guy: No pizza for you?
FIT chick #1: No, I don’t eat. I’m anorexic.
FIT chick #2: Yeah, look what she’s wearing. That’s what happens when you don’t eat. You go fucking crazy.
–27th & 7th pizzeria
Archive for May, 2005
We Never Snorted Candy at Stuyvesant
Bronx Science boy: I have pixie sticks.
Bronx Science girl: I love pixie sticks. Have you ever tried to snort them?
Bronx Science boy: Yeah, once I snorted a lot because I wanted to get high and my nose started gushing blood.
–1/9 train
Overheard by: chella
I Sense a Coming Wacky Packages Sticker
Girl: Your breath is stinky.
Guy: Please. My breath is so fresh they should name a mint after it.
Girl: How about excre-mint?
–56th & 1st
No, “Cute” as in “Do You Want Him to Do You”
Queer #1: So is your physical therapist cute?
Queer #2: “Cute” as in “do I want to do him cute”? Yeah.
Queer #1: Well, that can be a great incentive to do well.
–NYSC locker room, 16th & 8th
Guess That Means No Kegel Exercises
Girl #1: I just got a membership at Carnegie Hall.
Girl #2: You should get a membership to the gym.
Girl #1: But this is like a workout…for my soul.
–Lexington & 53rd
No Place is More Fun Than a Glit’ & ‘shit Bar
Unkempt facial hair guy: What kinds of clubs are you going to these days?
Bald guy with glasses: Oh, you know, ones where they wear body glitter and talk bullshit.
–3rd Avenue & 9th Street
Overheard by: Nico Westerdale
Grandma, What Big Pupils You Have!
Younger queer: Man, I never noticed how big Liza’s eyes were before.
Older queer: That’s so she can see the little pills better.
–Splash, 17th Street
Overheard by: Eric Muscatell
Seems Like Mom’s Eggs Weren’t Quite Grade “A”
Girl: Can I have an egg omelette?
Chef: Um…yes, do you want anything in that?
Girl: Doesn’t it come with stuff in it?
Chef: Yes, what do you want in your omelette?
Girl: Eggs.
Chef: That it?
Girl: Actually, what kind of omelettes besides egg do you have?
–Penn Station
Except That The Jungle Is Natural
Gay Black guy #1: Oh my god, I sooo have jungle fever. Do I look good with him?
Gay Black guy #2: It’s so weird.
Gay Black guy #1: What, we don’t look good together?
Gay Black guy #2: No, yeah, it’s just that, he’s really white and you’re like, extra black, so it’s like really jungle fever.
–D train
It Distracts From the Sweet, Sweet Bouquet of Feet
Macy’s clerk: Dude, don’t do that…Dude, I bent down and you fuckin’ farted. Don’t do that.
Customer: …I didn’t.
Macy’s clerk: Bro, you fuckin’ farted in my face when I bent down, I don’t want to smell that in here!
–Macy’s men’s shoes department
Overheard by: Chris Noland