Chick: So, when exactly are you downloading?
Preggers: Oh, the doctor says in about 3 weeks.
–70th & Columbus
Archive for September, 2005
You’re So Getting Dropped from the Friends List
Guy #1: All the hipsters in your neighborhood make me want to puke.
Guy #2: I wouldn’t say that too loud, but yeah, I share your sentiment.
Guy #1: What are they going to do? Cough angrily at me?
–St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Lemon
Not Quite Absolutely Fabulous
Chick: He was not really completely gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just completely fabulous.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: jennifer
Girl: I’m pathetic enough but not fabulous enough to be a fag hag.
–The Ansonia, 73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Girl #1: You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself. We are single and fabulous, explanation point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “exclamation point”?
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Guy #1: …I walked in and the warehouse was just full of tiny little boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fabulous.
–Central Park
“How about I just take yours?”
Hobo: Hey, are you trying to get laid today?
Chick: No, not today.
Hobo: Well give me your number.
–Union Square
Guys, He Was Speaking Literally
Pregnant woman: Can I cut in front of you, it’s an emergency?
Unpregnant man: Yeah no problem, but you better name that shit after me.
–Famiglia, 8th & Broadway
It Gets Worse and Worse as His Clothes Come Off
Drunk girl #1: He’s totally cute, but I find his moles distracting.
Drunk girl #2: Yeah and he kinda reminds me of a Klingon…I’d still make out with him though.
–Thompson & Bleecker
What, Objectifying is for Presidents Only? How 90s!
Suit #1: …so I went to her house and she was still begging and I kept saying “no”, and then she–
He makes a handjob gesture.
Suit #1: –and then I went home.
Suit #2: Have you seen [Laura], the new chick in the office?
Suit #3: I probably shouldn’t be saying this since I’m Vice President, but she’s got a great figure on her.
–S train
Overheard by: Michelle
The “I Heart My Birkinese” Shirt was Just Weird
Ticket lady: I’m sorry, no pets allowed.
Woman: But even if the dog is in a bag?
–Central Park
Overheard by: armur
So That’s Who Sparks Wrote Their Song About
Girl #1: All old people talk about is food.
Girl #2: Well, all we talk about is sex.
–71st & 3rd
Overheard by: sandy fishnets
Completely Unlike Lindsay
Chick #1: I saw Jared Leto and Lindsay Lohan making out on the street and now she has his band’s symbol or whatever tattooed on her foot. They’re so going out.
Chick #2: Don’t you read the tabloids? That’s old news.
Chick #1: The tabloids said they fucked. Just because they fucked does not mean they’re going out. Look at me; I’ve fucked the whole world and I’m not seeing anyone. This time they’re going out.
Chick #2: Yeah, you are a whore.
–Urban Outfitters, 14th & 6th
