Archive for September, 2005

Not Quite Ab­solute­ly Fab­u­lous

Chick: He was not re­al­ly com­plete­ly gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just com­plete­ly fab­u­lous.

–10th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: jen­nifer

Girl: I’m pa­thet­ic enough but not fab­u­lous enough to be a fag hag.

–The An­so­nia, 73rd & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Bet­ty Noir

Girl #1: You should­n’t feel sor­ry for your­self. We are sin­gle and fab­u­lous, ex­pla­na­tion point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “ex­cla­ma­tion point”?

–Gar­den Cafe, In­wood

Guy #1: …I walked in and the ware­house was just full of tiny lit­tle boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fab­u­lous.

–Cen­tral Park

What, Ob­jec­ti­fy­ing is for Pres­i­dents On­ly? How 90s!

Suit #1: …so I went to her house and she was still beg­ging and I kept say­ing “no”, and then she–

He makes a hand­job ges­ture.

Suit #1: –and then I went home.
Suit #2: Have you seen [Lau­ra], the new chick in the of­fice?
Suit #3: I prob­a­bly should­n’t be say­ing this since I’m Vice Pres­i­dent, but she’s got a great fig­ure on her.

–S train

Over­heard by: Michelle

Com­plete­ly Un­like Lind­say

Chick #1: I saw Jared Leto and Lind­say Lo­han mak­ing out on the street and now she has his band’s sym­bol or what­ev­er tat­tooed on her foot. They’re so go­ing out.
Chick #2: Don’t you read the tabloids? That’s old news.
Chick #1: The tabloids said they fucked. Just be­cause they fucked does not mean they’re go­ing out. Look at me; I’ve fucked the whole world and I’m not see­ing any­one. This time they’re go­ing out.
Chick #2: Yeah, you are a whore.

–Ur­ban Out­fit­ters, 14th & 6th

Some­where, Mar­cel Duchamp is Chortling

Guy #1: How was it?
Guy #2: It was cool. Paris was fun, ex­cept for a few days we spent at museums…We went one day to this place…The Love or something…I guess it was all right. There were def­i­nite­ly a lot of peo­ple there…Julie was freak­ing out about this one paint­ing, though.
Guy #1: What paint­ing?
Guy #2: The Mona Lisa.
Guy #1: …huh. Don’t think I know it…I’m not re­al­ly an art per­son though.
Guy #2: Yeah, I did­n’t know it ei­ther. It’s by Michelan­ge­lo I think. But I did­n’t re­al­ly get it…it’s re­al­ly small.

–Union Square sta­tion

Over­heard by: Stephanie Por­to