Guy: I was just so freakin’ relieved about finishing the report I started doing a little dance.
Girl: Were you naked?
–Union Square
Archive for September, 2005
The Present of an Illusion
Girl: They’re making a musical of Siegfried and Roy’s life.
Guy: Didn’t they do that on Friends already?
Girl: They did?
Guy: Yeah, remember Joey was the singing psychiatrist?
–Wall & Exchange
Girl #1: I wish we coulda seen those magicians with the tigers, but they don’t perform anymore…
Girl #2: You mean Sigmund Freud and Roy?
–Circulo Theater, E. 4th Street
Overheard by: scott cendali
I Suppose the Le Tigre Shirt is a Coincidence, Too
Girl #1: Damn you’re so unhip these days.
Girl #2: What, because I don’t want to bed with my supposedly straight female friend?
Girl #1: The club: Bed. You really need to get out more.
–Madame X, Houston Street
Overheard by: Leonora Seinfeld
Snapple Fact: No One Was in the Men’s Room
A wheeltard, one leg a stump, grows more and more agitated while waiting for someone to come out of the men’s room. He starts banging his chair repeatedly into the door. Finally it opens. He rolls into the doorway.
Wheeltard: I could kick your motherfucking ass if I had another leg, motherfucker! How do you know I don’t have a gun? In fact, I do have a gun!
–McDonald’s, Delancey Street
Overheard by: Sarah T.
Wednesday One-liners Face It
Photographer lady: They didn’t de-jowl him, which surprised me.
–Once Upon a Tart, Sullivan Street
Overheard by: Sara T.
Hungry for Wednesday One-liners
Woman: So, yesterday I think I ate dog food again.
–Elevator, 90th & Colombus
Overheard by: Louise XIV
Wednesday One-liners’ Ark
Crazy lady: We are ready to explain! She, however, will be with the dog…What do you think about that walker-talker? Why don’t you go walk and talk!”
–F train
Overheard by: Oh Miss Lauren
Wednesday One-liners Gotta Go!
Wasted guy: Oh man. I just shit my pants…I can’t believe I shit my pants.
–Carroll Gardens
Spit, Swallow or Wednesday One-liners?
Teen guy: Yeah, I fucked that retarded girl. She didn’t really know what was going on…but I busted in her.
–Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Philec
Blondie is a Group!
Crazy man: Why do blondes only hang out with other blondes? Why do blondes only hang out with other blonds? Why do blonds only hang out with other blonds?
Chick: Shut up.
Crazy man: Hey Blondie, I wasn’t asking you.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Thompson Patton
