Archive for October, 2005

“They don’t; I ate their brains!” (Hap­py Hal­loween)

Col­lege girl: Is it pos­si­ble to bring back the dead?
Pro­fes­sor guy: Well, for now, sci­en­tists are work­ing on mak­ing a
sin­gle cell, which is cre­at­ing life. That’s not the same as bring­ing
back the dead. That pos­es the “life af­ter death” ques­tion.
Col­lege girl: I think about zom­bies all of the time.
Pro­fes­sor guy: All of the time?
Col­lege girl: Yeah, I’m al­ways think­ing about zom­bies.
Pro­fes­sor guy: What do your par­ents think?

–Mey­er Hall, Wash­ing­ton Place

Over­heard by: Steven Green­baum

Treats and Tricks (Hap­py Hal­loween)

Queer: Can you hold this shirt for me ’til to­mor­row?
Shop tran­nie: No, we can’t put cos­tumes on hold.
Queer: Well, I want to be, like, this Louis XIV go-go boy, and I al­ready got the short shorts and every­thing, and this shirt would go per­fect but I just can’t af­ford it ’til to­mor­row.

–Hal­loween Ad­ven­ture, 4th Av­enue

Over­heard by: sharyn jack­son

Girl: Do you have any more slut-nurs­es?
Counter guy: No, we’re all out of slut-nurs­es, but we have some slut-dev­ils and some slut-flight at­ten­dents.

–Rick­y’s, 8th Av­enue

Over­heard by: Josh Cald­well

Guy: What’s she go­ing as for Hal­loween?
Girl: A newsie.
Guy: Oh.
Girl: I knew she’d steal my idea, stu­pid ho-bag.

–El­e­va­tor, Wa­ter Street Res­i­dence

Over­heard by: Dan & Travis

Guy: I’ve al­ways loved this mask, it’s so cool.
Girl: Yeah, I guess.
Guy: I mean, I guess I should, con­sid­er­ing…
Girl: Right.
Guy: I mean, I was in the movie.
Girl: That was like a decade ago.
Guy: So?
Girl: Yeah, but you were a fuck­ing ex­tra. And you did­n’t even have a sin­gle line.

–Rick­y’s, 22nd & 3rd

Guy: What is this, All Har­lots’ Eve?

–3rd Av­enue & 8th Street

Over­heard by: Adam Nathan

The Sun Has Fi­nal­ly Set on the British Em­pire

Copy­girl: UK?
Chick: The Unit­ed King­dom.
Copy­girl: The Unit­ed King­dom? Where’s that? Hey, Joyce! Where’s the Unit­ed King­dom?
Chick: …Eng­land. In Eu­rope.
Copy­girl: But I don’t see it here. British Co­lum­bia, Que­bec, British
Isles, but no Unit­ed King­dom.

–Kinko’s, Du­ane Street

Over­heard by: Jess Mc­Gins

Hip­ster or Home­less?

Guy: Did you know that there are home­less peo­ple who live un­der­ground in the aban­doned sub­way sta­tions?
Girl: You mean like un­der­ground peo­ple? Wait, I’ve heard of them, they have a weird name!
Guy: Like “un­der­ground peo­ple”?
Girl: No, I saw it on Fe­lic­i­ty.

–14th & 6th

Over­heard by: pe­ter

Girl #1: Hey, I lived on the street with the street kids for like, six months. On the street. They were on drugs and stuff.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Be­cause it was fun…It was re­al­ly on­ly on week­ends, though.

–St. Marks

Guy: I’m sick of these home­less hip­sters. It’s like, you’re fuck­ing
hip­sters!

–St. Marks & 1st