Archive for October, 2005

A Lot Less Than Stu­pid­i­ty Should

Show­er­ing girl #1: So, I’m think­ing of get­ting a tat­too.
Show­er­ing girl #2: Oh re­al­ly? I have one on my an­kle!
Show­er­ing girl #1: What’s it of?
Show­er­ing girl #2: Well, it’s not so much a tat­too as, I guess, a birth­mark.
Show­er­ing girl #1: …Well, does that hurt?

–NYU Pal­la­di­um Gym, E. 14th Street

That’s More Like a Com­mune

Guy: At some point, the fuck­ing union of New York City deli work­ers must have met to de­cide break­fast would no longer be cheap.
Girl: You think they have a union or some­thing?
Guy: Yeah, it’s called Chi­na­town.

–Wa­ter & Pine

Can’t We All Just Do What Rod­ney King Said?

Black woman: I’ll mess you up! I’ll be wait­ing for you down­stairs, you man-on-man fag­got! White trash!
White queer: You don’t scare me! I’ve dealt with the feds, I can
deal with you!

–Wel­fare of­fice, Boerum Hill

Over­heard by: Sheep Over­hearder

Black woman: Take that bag off your back.
White man: All it takes are two words: “ex­cuse” and “me”.
Black woman: I’m not say­ing noth­ing to you.
White man: Sor­ry, I see that you on­ly use your mouth for one thing, and that’s suck­ing dick.
Black woman: You are so rude. Take that back.
White man: Okay, I am sor­ry. I take it back. You al­so use your mouth for eat­ing, as seen by the size of your enor­mous ass.

–4/5 train

Sad­ly, He Means His Boss

Dude #1: Women to­day, they’re just like men. They’re just more…upfront about things. They’ll tell you what they want, and they aren’t shy about it.
Dude #2: Yeah?
Dude #1: Yeah! And it’s great, be­cause it means I don’t have to work as hard.

–Brook­lyn Heights