Hobo: You people are all evil…You are oppressors…You’re gonna be up shit’s creek when Moshiach comes!
–37th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alexander
Archive for November, 2005
Wednesday One-liners Watch Too Much TV
Dude: Are you suggesting MacGyver is my penis?
–F train
Overheard by: Giovanni Diaz
Wednesday One-liners Rifle Through the Trash
Guy: Dude, no one uses “hobo” in a sentence anymore.
–McCoy’s Bar, 9th Avenue
Wednesday One-liners: The Pole
Old man on pay phone: If I see another nigger on this street, I’m gonna rip his dick off and eat it!
–Chambers & Church
Overheard by: Ziggy
Wednesday One-liners Go to the Health Club
Tour chick: …And up that street is the gym. I’ve never been in there but I’m sure it’s full of glistening weights and…I don’t know…glistening bodies…
–Washington Square Park
Wednesday One-liners Don’t Speak Truth
Guy on cell: Oh, wow, that’s too bad. You know I would help you out if I were in New York. I am on the West Coast, I flew out yesterday, I am standing on Rodeo Drive.
–73rd & 3rd
Incomplete Wednesday One-liners
Woman: I mean, I don’t want to break up with him, but I just don’t think I can date an amputee.
–Hungarian Pastry Shop, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Jeff Julian
That’s Why He Invented Hell
Girl #1: Man, I really want some cigarettes, but I don’t have any cash.
Girl #2: Sorry, I don’t have any cash either.
Girl #1: Look, I found a 20! God like totally wants me to smoke.
–Broadway & Prince
Oddly Enough, Using Windows
Guy #1: I told you I wanted a pineapple.
Guy #2: It’s November.
Guy #1: And?
Hobo: Pineapple and coconuts are made from computers. And you can tell!
–77th & 1st
Overheard by: Big Z
“Domo arigato!”
White chick: Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you…how do you say “hello” in Korean?
Asian chick: I don’t know; I’m Chinese, bitch!
–Starbucks, 44th & Broadway