Archive for December, 2005

Not Ex­act­ly Cut­ting It Close

Girl #1: I can’t be­lieve last year you had a boyfriend and this year you have a girl­friend! It’s like so nasty.
Girl #2: Oh please, next year you’re go­ing to have a girl­friend too.
Girl #1: Hell no I ain’t. I made it through last year with­out a girl­friend and I’ll make it through this year too!

–6 train

Over­heard by: Kim­ber­ly

That’s Why God Us­es It as Pun­ish­ment

Girl #1: You’re go­ing off the pill? What about STDs and AIDS?
Girl #2: Yeah, and ba­bies!
Girl #1: STDs and AIDS are worse than ba­bies.
Girl #2: True.

–Madi­son & 26th

Over­heard by: K8

Girl #1: …It’s so scary how time flies.
Girl #2: You know what’s even scari­er than that?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: AIDS.

–68th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Anne O.

Hobo’s Quick with the Puns

Hobo: So you two ladies want to go with me, I have a room at the Plaza?
Girl #1: No.
Hobo: Are you sure?
Girl #2: Please leave us alone.
Hobo: Okay, I’m a gen­tle­man. See, I’m go­ing to leave you alone. So will you come with me to the Plaza?
Girl #1: No.
Hobo: Okay. See I’m a gen­tle­man, I’m go­ing to leave you alone. You have a nice night.
Girl #1: Bye.
Hobo: Don’t fuck­ing pa­tron­ize me!

–32nd & 2nd

The Toe-curl­ing Or­gasms Are Sure a Plus

Dude #1: So it’s ei­ther lots of bran every day, or just wake up to a cig­a­rette and cof­fee. Works for me every time.
Dude #2: So there’s a health ben­e­fit to your vices, huh?
Dude #1: I guess so.
Dude #2: I won­der if gay guys have good shits. Maybe that’s a ben­e­fit of anal sex.
Dude #1: I’ll stick to cig­a­rettes and cof­fee, thanks.

–Star­bucks, Brook­lyn Heights

Over­heard by: iiams