Archive for 2005

NYers: What Do You Think of Sin City?

Guy #1: It was artsy, girls don’t like that.
Guy #2: How is it artsy? He ripped off a guy’s nuts!

–Loews 34th St. men’s room

Overheard by: Dan Dickinson 

Dude: I thought it was great. Very visually arresting. I liked how they stayed true to the visual style of the comic book. Of course I say that having never read the comic book.

–Regal Cinemas Union Square

Overheard by: Greg Rutter 

Giving Smoking a Bad Name

Drunk Guy #1: You’re gonna charge me a dollar for just one cigarette?
Drunk Guy #2: You think I’m gonna fucking give you change?

–46th St. & 8th Ave.

Overheard by: Ryan

Man on cell: I’m going to buy a pack of cigarettes. I’m dying here, you’re literally killing me.

–3rd Ave. & 12th St.

Overheard by: Este Bagato

I’d Finally Get to Have Sex

Guy #1: I wonder how much it would cost to get married in Vegas and then get an annulment the next day.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: I dunno. I’ve been thinking of doing that, just for fun.
Guy #3: What would be the point?
Guy #1: …what do you mean, “what would be the point”?

–NYU dining hall

How Not to Hook Up in NYC

Chick: I don’t get Spanish guys. They compliment you every time you pass them. They always say things like, “You have beautiful legs, in my country it is an honor for a woman to be told she has beautiful legs”. Well, you’re in NY now, honey, and I’m a bitch!

–5th Ave. & 82nd St.

Player: Excuse me miss, you’re even better looking than J. Lo. Can I have your autograph?

–Fulton Street mall

Hobo: Hey, you a pretty lady. You married?…I got food stamps!

–Astoria

Overheard by: mj 

The ACLU Filed Suit Moments After

Conductor: Look, people. Okay. When we say “stay clear of the closing doors”, that means don’t push a closing door back open. Don’t stick your hands or feet in the door. You could lose an arm or a leg or get seriously hurt. These trains run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Holding a door open is not worth your life. Don’t hold the doors open when they are closing. This isn’t rocket science. God, it’s not even high school science.

–1/9 train

Wednesday One-liners are Criminal

Homeboy: I don’t discriminate. If anyone messes with my family, or my kids, I’m taking their life.

–Bx21 bus

Overheard by: Fiona

Chick on cell: I don’t know…I think I’m in Queens. The train’s above ground…I lost my keys and I have to be at work in 45 minutes. I’ll guess I’ll go in the same clothes…I don’t know what he does. I think something at night, though. I took his money.

–7 train

Girl on cell: That’s very nice to diagnose yourself like that but, really, fuck you…I still think you’re, like, a sociopath or something.

–6th Ave. between 50th & 51st

Develop a Relationship with Wednesday One-liners

Woman: I’m so sick of boyfriends. I want to be single forever. Fingers and vibrators are it!

–43rd St. & 10th Ave.

Overheard by: Jenn X

Girl on cell: I’m telling you, the MTA is like a bad boyfriend. You’re all dressed up and ready to go and the fucking train doesn’t even show up! And the worst part is the next time you totally show up again, ready to go and just have to hope to God that the stupid train shows up. What the hell is that?

–45th & 8th

Black girl: It felt like I was losing my virginity all over again. That was some King Kong kind of shit.

–E train

Overheard by: Philip