Archive for 2005

Maybe They’re Born With It?

Girl: You need more to do. Want to look for a cool coffee table for me?
Guy: What kind? Wood, metal, glass, bamboo, brick?
Girl: I’m not sure. I thought round, wood at first but now I think maybe something more funky like mosaic.
Guy: Why not make one? Then it could be round wood with a mosaic on it.
Girl: But that requires effort on my part.
Guy: So what? It would be fun and worthwhile, you know, instead of putting makeup on HIV people.

–49th & 6th

Overheard by: Scott

Shalom, Wednesday One-liners

Crazy Hasid: Who are the three greatest Jewish lawyers of all time? Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Johnny Cochran, Alan Dershowitz. Who are the three greatest doctors of all time? Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Alan Dershowitz. 

–F train

Overheard by: bluesdog 

Jewess on cell: You know, I love Great Neck, but I don’t know. I have to consider it. I’m not super Jewish and he’s not super Jewish. And you know how Jews are. They can be nice to non-Jews, but they can be caustic to other Jews.

–Union Square

Lady: I just don’t get smoking, or people who smoke…smoking and bacon; I don’t get it. 

–UWS elevator

Overheard by: Susan Volchok 

Build a Relationship with Wednesday One-liners

Woman: Every time I date Greek men I get fat…Every single time!

–South Cove, Battery Park City

Guy on cell: I know man, sometimes I wish you were her husband instead of me. 

–Starbucks, Union Square West

Overheard by: alison 

Chick on cell: …so I said, “Stop calling me. It was a one night stand.”

–F train

Black queer: So who is this guy, anyway? Has anybody even met this guy you say you’re dating? Or is he like that “Bob” guy you put in your car so you can drive in the H.O.V. lane?

–Times Square

Guy: She has…two one-eyed cats. She’s never getting engaged.

–Madison Square Park