Archive for 2005

Nonverbal Communication (A NYC Short Story)

I’m in a bus stuck in traffic. I look out the window down at this woman driving alone in her car. She’s talking on her cell phone. After watching her continue to talk for 15 seconds or so, I see her suddenly put the cell between her ear and shoulder, release the steering wheel and use both hands to give the “in quotes” gesture. I’m sure this helped alleviate any possible misinterpretation of what she was saying to the person on the other end of the phone.

–Lincoln Tunnel

Wednesday One-liners Dentata

Girl on cell: Hey, how are you? My vagina is sore.

–34th & 3rd

HS boy: Hey, you guys are a bunch of pussies. Do you realize you’re running from a handicapped lady? I mean, I could see if she came at you with a cane or something.

–106th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kyle T. 

Man on cell: I can’t wait for the naked pussy party.

–Employees Only, Hudson Street

Overheard by: Max T‑M

Cop: She ovulates tumbleweeds.

–Ludlow & Delancey

Overheard by: Erin Bradley

Girl on cell: Yeah, I think it’s a yeast infection…yeah…itching. It’s been like a week, though…I’m not going to a gynecologist…I had a bad experience once. I don’t know how much longer I can take it, though.

–6th Avenue & 8th Street

Bag lady: My name is Madge. I am homeless, completely broke. I haven’t eaten in days. I have my period and I am bleeding my clothes now.

–6 train