Archive for 2005

No Wonder Lady Windermere Carried a Fan

Chick: You know, I don’t believe Victorians shat.
Dude: Neither did they.
Chick: There is no way on Earth that what just came up from my system came up through theirs.
Dude: Surely not with that whole empire they were building.

–Pax Wholesome Foods, Times Square

It Says Here the Patent is Held by One Blair Warner

Girl #1: Sometimes you get pissed because you see something in a magazine or on TV that you thought of before and people are stealing your super imaginative ideas. And then you think, it’s possible that different people think of the same things.
Girl #2: Yeah, like when your sister thought she invented George Clooney?

–G train

Overheard by: kristin 

The Apprentice: Martha Stewart is Just Weird

Crackhead lady #1: I need to stop, because now I’m looking down the barrel of a monkey.
Crackhead lady #2: I know what you mean. If I wasn’t using all this energy chasing a high, I could use the energy productively, like jumping on a trampoline. 

–Morris Park