Archive for 2005

Not Quite Absolutely Fabulous

Chick: He was not really completely gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just completely fabulous. 

–10th & Broadway

Overheard by: jennifer

Girl: I’m pathetic enough but not fabulous enough to be a fag hag.

–The Ansonia, 73rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Betty Noir 

Girl #1: You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself. We are single and fabulous, explanation point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “exclamation point”?

–Garden Cafe, Inwood

Guy #1: …I walked in and the warehouse was just full of tiny little boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fabulous.

–Central Park

What, Objectifying is for Presidents Only? How 90s!

Suit #1: …so I went to her house and she was still begging and I kept saying “no”, and then she–

He makes a handjob gesture.

Suit #1: –and then I went home.
Suit #2: Have you seen [Laura], the new chick in the office?
Suit #3: I probably shouldn’t be saying this since I’m Vice President, but she’s got a great figure on her.

–S train

Overheard by: Michelle 

Completely Unlike Lindsay

Chick #1: I saw Jared Leto and Lindsay Lohan making out on the street and now she has his band’s symbol or whatever tattooed on her foot. They’re so going out.
Chick #2: Don’t you read the tabloids? That’s old news.
Chick #1: The tabloids said they fucked. Just because they fucked does not mean they’re going out. Look at me; I’ve fucked the whole world and I’m not seeing anyone. This time they’re going out.
Chick #2: Yeah, you are a whore.

–Urban Outfitters, 14th & 6th

Somewhere, Marcel Duchamp is Chortling

Guy #1: How was it?
Guy #2: It was cool. Paris was fun, except for a few days we spent at museums…We went one day to this place…The Love or something…I guess it was all right. There were definitely a lot of people there…Julie was freaking out about this one painting, though.
Guy #1: What painting?
Guy #2: The Mona Lisa.
Guy #1: …huh. Don’t think I know it…I’m not really an art person though.
Guy #2: Yeah, I didn’t know it either. It’s by Michelangelo I think. But I didn’t really get it…it’s really small.

–Union Square station

Overheard by: Stephanie Porto