Girl: Yeah…but I have my period, so we can’t have sex.
Guy: That doesn’t matter. See? It just shows that I love you.
Girl: What it shows is that you want head.
–St. Marks & 3rd
Overheard by: Brock
Archive for 2005
Katrina and the Government Made Sure of That
Teen boy: Tweety Bird is a boy or girl?
Teen girl: It’s a boy. They got a blue Tweety too, I seen it.
Teen boy: Yeah yeah, they got a black Tweety Bird, too. I seen it before.
Teen girl: Where did you see a black Tweety? There ain’t no black Tweety, stupid.
–D train
Overheard by: christian koch
A Whole New Level of Decadence
Girl: Oh, so he’s a total stoner?
Guy: Yeah, he only does coke when you shove it up his nose.
–14th & 1st
It Was One Hell of a Long Delivery
Twin girl #A: It’s my birthday on Sunday…
Unique girl #1: Oh, so like, your sister was the one whose birthday it was Thursday. God, this must be so confusing for you guys.
Unique girl #2: Um, no, I highly doubt it is. They’re twins; they were born on the same day!
Unique girl #1: Did your parents just change it on the birth certificate to make it less confusing…or what? I would’ve just let you guys keep the different birthdays.
–40th & 5th
They’re Still Wearing Those Juicy Pants?
Girl #1: Ew…what’s this spot on my pants?
Girl #2: Sperm?
Girl #1: God, I wish!
–Washington Square South
No, That’s Trivial Pursuit
Guy: You know that game, Operation–
Girl: Yeah, it’s in your pants!
–Luca Lounge, Avenue B
The Terry Schiavo Comparison Didn’t Go Over Either
Guy: Yo…you are a walking Katrina.
Girl: What?
Guy: You’re a walking disaster area.
Girl: Whoa…too early…
–13th between A and B
Overheard by: Leah Beirne
This Queer Thing Makes More and More Sense
Girl: We should totally start pretending to go out and make out in public, and then everyone will be like, “But I thought Mark was gay?”. And they’ll all be so confused.
Mark: Okay, I’m down, but you’re gonna have to get me like 6 shots of Jagermeister before we start.
Girl: Why do you need to be drunk? I’m pretty!
–116th Street 1 station
He Can Only Half-recall
Hippie guy: Hey. How’s it going?
Dwarf guy: Hey.
Hippie guy: Remember me? We were at band camp together.
–F train
Overheard by: Gretchen S
I’m Glad I’m Not Alone on This
White guy: God! This is taking forever!
Black guy: Hey man, you don’t like it then go back to Omaha or Ohio or whatever square state you’re from.
White guy: But I’m from Brooklyn.
Black guy: Then act like it!
–Whitehall SI Ferry terminal
