Archive for 2005

Yeah, So the Rest of Us Can Start

Yuppie guy on cell collides with hipster guy pretty hard.

Hipster guy: Hey, asshole!
Yuppie guy: Watch it.
Hipster guy: I hope you have to watch your fuckin’ children die!
Hipster girl: Honey, you really have to stop saying that to
people.

–7th Avenue & 13th Street

Nah, Those Get Recycled

Girl: Why won’t that garbage truck move for the ambulance?
Guy #1: Is the garbage really that important? They’re still picking it up.
Guy #2: Pretty soon they’ll be able to dump the body in there.

–Park & 27th

Overheard by: Jimi D 

Yet Again, He’s No Bill Clinton

Roberto Clemente, Jr.: Well, maybe you won’t say that when you have to spend 3 days straight with George W.…We spent three days straight sitting down talking, just drank some beers, ate some hot dogs–
Professor guy: –smoked a joint…
Roberto Clemente, Jr.: Yeah! And he inhaled.

–Waverly Building, Waverly Place

Overheard by: Genevieve Dreizen 

Hey, We’re the Ones Who Invented It

Guy: But I should get extra consideration since you named [Melanie] and [Alexandra].
Preggers: I did not name them. What the hell are you talking about? We named them together.
Guy: No we didn’t. You came up with names and I agreed with you. You named them. It’s my turn.
Preggers: Leave it to the white man to rewrite history. 

–1 train

I Doubt She Has to Worry About Being Educated

Girl: I can’t get food for you guys tomorrow. I have school. I am not
leaving school just to come here and get food for all of us.
Guy: You know education isn’t going to feed you.
Girl: That’s funny, because my boyfriend said to me last night that
education wasn’t going to get me married.

–Office, Old Slip & South

Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova