Archive for 2005

Translation: He Gives Bad Head

Hipster girl: It’s like, OK, we only see each other when we’re drunk, and he doesn’t seem that interested, and we never have a decent conversation, and he might be gay, but on top of everything he’s also a Red Sox fan. He even made fun of Bernie Williams once.
Hipster queer: So that’s really the clincher for you?
Hipster girl: Well, you know, there’s a limit to how many areas where you can be incompatible. 

–Metropolitan bar, Williamsburg

It’s Not Like He Can Crash It

Conductor, doors closing at East Broadway: This is a Manhattan-bound F train, next stop Steinway Street. 

Conductor, doors closing at Delancey: This is a Manhattan-bound F train, next stop 23rd Street.
Girl: Should I be worried? 

–F train

Overheard by: Suzanne

A Different Sense of Screaming Queer

Queer: So how was your date?
Hispanic chick: Oh, it was nice, he was nice and sweet, and a real gentleman, you know, he would hold open doors, make sure to walk between me and the street, you know, really nice.
Queer: Oh, you know what that totally screams?
Hispanic chick: What?
Queer: That totally screams: I want to get into your vagina right now!

–6 train

Overheard by: Luke Reynolds