Archive for 2005

A True NY­er: He Over­heard Them, But He Did­n’t Help Them

Chick #1: What street are we get­ting off at again?
Chick #2: 59th street.
Chick #1: I hope we are on the right train.
Chick #2: Of course we are. I think it’s the next stop.
Con­duc­tor: This is 72nd street, trans­fer to the 1,2,3 trains–
Chick #1: There’s the ex­press. Should we switch trains?
Chick #2: No, we’ll switch at 50th street.

–Up­town #9 train

Over­heard by: Marc

Dat­ing in NYC (2 Short Sto­ries)

Punk girl: El­la re­al­ly is kind of a whore for do­ing that to Bren­nan. Even if Bren­nan is a dick­head, she should­n’t let him think she’s cheat­ing on him. Why make your­self look like a whore if you’re re­al­ly not?
Styl­ish girl: Yeah, you’re right. She’s just mak­ing her­self look like a whore.
Punk girl: I won­der if Bren­nan is sin­gle. I’d like to hook up with him.

–5th Ave. be­tween 54th and 55th

Over­heard by: the rat

Dancer: …and she’s like, 25, and has nev­er been on a date! Ever!
Bal­leri­no: No fuck­ing way. Is she re­tard­ed?
Dancer: I don’t think so. I think she’s just ob­sessed with bal­let.
Bal­leri­no: Go fig­ure.

–Juil­liard cafe­te­ria

Let’s Stir Up Some Hi­lar­i­ty!

Re­cep­tion­ist: So, it’s your name on the in­sur­ance card?
Girl: No, it’s my part­ner’s.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Your hus­band?
Girl: No, my part­ner.
Re­cep­tion­ist: What’s his name?
Girl: Emi­ly.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Your hus­band’s name is Emi­ly?
Girl: She’s a girl.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Oh…Ohhh.

–Park Slope ob/gyn

Re­cep­tion­ist: Do you have an ap­point­ment here?
Guy: Yes, I’m the 3:35.
Re­cep­tion­ist: No, you’re not.
Guy: Oh yes I am.
Re­cep­tion­ist: This is gy­ne­col­o­gy.
Guy: Ah.

–W. 72nd St. ob/gyn