Archive for 2005

A True NYer: He Overheard Them, But He Didn’t Help Them

Chick #1: What street are we getting off at again?
Chick #2: 59th street.
Chick #1: I hope we are on the right train.
Chick #2: Of course we are. I think it’s the next stop.
Conductor: This is 72nd street, transfer to the 1,2,3 trains–
Chick #1: There’s the express. Should we switch trains?
Chick #2: No, we’ll switch at 50th street.

–Uptown #9 train

Overheard by: Marc

Dating in NYC (2 Short Stories)

Punk girl: Ella really is kind of a whore for doing that to Brennan. Even if Brennan is a dickhead, she shouldn’t let him think she’s cheating on him. Why make yourself look like a whore if you’re really not?
Stylish girl: Yeah, you’re right. She’s just making herself look like a whore.
Punk girl: I wonder if Brennan is single. I’d like to hook up with him.

–5th Ave. between 54th and 55th

Overheard by: the rat

Dancer: …and she’s like, 25, and has never been on a date! Ever!
Ballerino: No fucking way. Is she retarded?
Dancer: I don’t think so. I think she’s just obsessed with ballet.
Ballerino: Go figure. 

–Juilliard cafeteria

Let’s Stir Up Some Hilarity!

Receptionist: So, it’s your name on the insurance card?
Girl: No, it’s my partner’s.
Receptionist: Your husband?
Girl: No, my partner.
Receptionist: What’s his name?
Girl: Emily.
Receptionist: Your husband’s name is Emily?
Girl: She’s a girl.
Receptionist: Oh…Ohhh.

–Park Slope ob/gyn

Receptionist: Do you have an appointment here?
Guy: Yes, I’m the 3:35.
Receptionist: No, you’re not.
Guy: Oh yes I am.
Receptionist: This is gynecology.
Guy: Ah.

–W. 72nd St. ob/gyn