Archive for 2005

If On­ly Pra­da Sold Hys­terec­tomies…

Yup­pie chick #1: I had my tax­es done on Sat­ur­day. I had to pay Fed­er­al and State tax­es.
Yup­pie chick #2: That sucks.
Yup­pie chick #1: Yeah. The on­ly thing I can do to stop pay­ing is have a kid or buy some­thing. Maybe I’ll do num­ber 1.
Yup­pie chick #2: No way! I’d much rather buy some­thing!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Mat­ty­Wa­ters

Out of the Mouths of Babes: Howard Dean is a Com­mie!

Lit­tle girl #1: My dad wants to write books but does­n’t.
Lit­tle girl #2: Why not?
Lit­tle girl #1: Well, he’s busy.
Lit­tle girl #2: Why does­n’t he just quit his job and start writ­ing a book?
Lit­tle girl #1: I dunno…maybe be­cause we won’t have any mon­ey?
Lit­tle girl #3: Ooh, then you could move to Ver­mont!

–F train

Sure­ly She Does­n’t Mean Ronald reg­giN?

Woman: …you know, he was much dark­er than the oth­er kids who were re­al­ly white, so he was called a nig­ger. He was dyslex­ic.
Man: Wha?
Woman: But he was a strong boy. One time when he was bit­ten by a dog, I came in to his room and he was ly­ing there with blood on him. He did­n’t scream or say a word…a very strong boy.
Man: What are you talk­ing about?

–Times Square