Guy #1: They play the Red Sox opening day.
Guy #2: They play who?
Guy #1: The Red Sox. World Series Champions last year, you know?
Guy #2: They had the World Series last year?
–outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Julie Mitchell
Archive for 2005
…and that’s One to Grow On
Middle aged woman: You gots laxatives? Where da laxatives?
Shelfstacker: Laxawhat?
Middle aged woman: Oh yeah, youse too young to know about it, huh? When you gets to my age, you know all about it.
–CVS, 96th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: erra
If Only Prada Sold Hysterectomies…
Yuppie chick #1: I had my taxes done on Saturday. I had to pay Federal and State taxes.
Yuppie chick #2: That sucks.
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah. The only thing I can do to stop paying is have a kid or buy something. Maybe I’ll do number 1.
Yuppie chick #2: No way! I’d much rather buy something!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: MattyWaters
Let’s Hope She Means the Deodorant
Puerto Rican chick: Ooh, first the wife beaters and now the Axe? I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off of you!
–Walgreens, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jason
It’s Not Too Early to Consider Implants, Kid
Tween swimmer girl #1: I’m nervous. I think I look funny when I’m naked.
Tween swimmer girl #2: No offense, but everyone looks funny when they’re naked!
–Manhattan Plaza Health Club locker room, W. 43rd St.
Overheard by: Andrea
Not For Much Longer!
Woman: Shit, if I were homeless I’d move somewhere warm in the winter. New York City is too damn cold!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Carlos Gantt
Out of the Mouths of Babes: Howard Dean is a Commie!
Little girl #1: My dad wants to write books but doesn’t.
Little girl #2: Why not?
Little girl #1: Well, he’s busy.
Little girl #2: Why doesn’t he just quit his job and start writing a book?
Little girl #1: I dunno…maybe because we won’t have any money?
Little girl #3: Ooh, then you could move to Vermont!
–F train
$5 Says She Wears Her Clothes Into The Machine
Chick: I got a washing machine at home but it don’t fit. I got too many clothes.
Guy: Ain’t you never heard of loads?
Chick: What you mean?
Guy: Doing it once at a time.
Chick: Shoot, I be doing clothes forever if I do that shit.
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Trish
Readers: Answer This Mindblowing Question
Girl on cell: How’s your aneurysm? I mean, you’re still alive, right?
–Hunter College
The Short Bus to the Candy Shop
HS girl: Do you listen to 50 Cent? Oh, my god, he is so good!
HS guy: Do you know what they say when you are listening to 50 Cent?
HS girl: What do they say?
HS guy: What are you listening to when you have two quarters next to your ear?
HS girl: Ha, ha…I don’t get it.
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Ting
