Archive for 2005

It’s Only a Threat If It’s Not Acted Upon

Man: So these teenagers threatened to kill you?
Woman: Yeah…
Man: Why didn’t you call the police?
Woman: I was on the subway, how am I suppose to call the police?
Man: I can’t believe you told me this. Now what am I suppose to do with this piece of information?

–M72 bus

Non-bitch: There’s a man over there in a green jacket who called me a bitch and threatened to kill me because I wouldn’t give him the time.

–59th & Lexington

Laina and Nathan (A NYC Short Story)

Man: Why’d you read all my email?
Woman: I only did it once.
Man: Yeah, right. You mentioned whether I wrote to Barry about that girl from Canada out of the blue, where’d that come from?
Woman: Why would I lie?
Man: It’s against the law. You violated me. I’d never do that to you.
Woman: You’d do it.
Man: No.
Woman: You don’t get it.
Man: I do.
Woman: Here, read my email.
Man: No.
Woman: Read mine!
Man: Laina, no!
Woman: “I liked the way you touched me after yoga class–”
Man: Laina, it was a joke!
Woman: It’s not funny.
Man: It was a joke.
Woman: You fucked her! And what about Match.com girl? You gave her your home email.
Man: Please. When was this?
Woman: January. What is that? You want to screw other people? Why is that?
Man: Laina…it was a joke.
Woman: Oh, and what about this? “I love the way your long hair shakes down onto my chest. I will have to repay you soon.”
Man: I didn’t pay her a dime.
Woman: Two weeks later you went with me and my family to the Vineyard.
Man: You have every right to be upset. It was once, honey!
Woman: You told me you loved me!
Man: It was a joke.
Woman: You don’t joke like this with someone you used to fuck and still likes you.
Man: I didn’t fuck her.
Woman: She still likes you.
Man: Laina.
Woman: You’re sick, Nathan! You hear me?! You’re just sick!

–Cafe Pick Me Up, Avenue A

Overheard by: Gideon Wallace

Going to the Talkies (A NYC Short Story)

Old lady: What’s going on here?
Woman on line: They’re premiering a new film by Todd Solondz
Old lady: Yeah, but what’s it about?
Woman on line: It’s a pretty dark, sadistic movie.
Old lady: What’s it about? Did you not understand me the first time?
Woman on line: I haven’t seen it yet so I don’t know!
Old lady: Jesus. Standing on line for god knows how long and you don’t know a damn thing about what you’re there for!

–outside Chelsea Cinemas, W. 23rd Street

Overheard by: Abbie Mullaney