Archive for 2005

Cave­men Used Axe

Girl #1: So how was your date with him?
Girl #2: It was fun and every­thing but it both­ers me that he has no smell. Not that he stinks, but he just smells too nat­u­ral­ly hu­man.
Girl #1: Oh my god! No cologne? What is he, liv­ing in the Stone Age?

–Wash­ing­ton Square park

Over­heard by: Ting

A Bird in Hand is Worth Two in the Bush

Pa­paraz­zo: So you two are re­al­ly pret­ty, have you ever done any mod­el­ing?
Dutch girl #1: Ha ha ha, not me, maybe her.
Dutch girl #2: No, I am study­ing his­to­ry at home.
Pa­paraz­zo: You re­al­ly should con­sid­er it, there is great mon­ey in it and I would love to help you get start­ed.
Dutch girl #2: Sounds interesting…what type of mod­el­ing?
Pa­paraz­zo: Well, nude sells the best. We can go over to my place and dis­cuss it.
Dutch girl #1: Great!
Dutch girl #2: Maybe you can take some of us to­geth­er.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Stephanie Nal­ly

The Very Lim­it­ed Min­utes Plan

An old Russ­ian man has put his bag on the seat next to him. An old la­dy asks him to move it. He re­fus­es as there are oth­er seats al­beit not in the front. Things get es­ca­lat­ed un­til the old la­dy says: You’re a son of a bitch. I’d like to see you hit me with that. I’ll call the cops right now. I’ve got my cell phone!

–B1 bus

(Af­ter this ex­change our ed­i­tor hand­ed her his card and told her that she would be on this site. She was con­fused on so many lev­els that they kind of can­celled out and she nod­ded & smiled.)

They Missed a Few in NYC

Co­lum­bia guy #1: It’s a small world.
Co­lum­bia guy #2: Yeah, es­pe­cial­ly when they killed six mil­lion of us.

–Miller The­atre, Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

La­dy: …yeah, but when they’re all be­ing led in­to gas cham­bers again, they’ll be cry­ing in their beer.

–Miller Park, The Bronx

Over­heard by: Roisin Ni She

Book guy: I don’t see that big swasti­ka.
Girl: No, I don’t ei­ther. And that big swasti­ka was go­ing to be my dad’s birth­day present.

–Barnes & No­ble, As­tor Place

Over­heard by: Jon Ze­braskey