Archive for 2005

Conceived While Mom Yelled “No” and Dad Yelled “Yes”

Guy: Yeah, they had the baby, named her Maybe, and–
Girl: Wait, they named her Maybe? As in M‑A-Y-B‑E?
Guy: Uh, yeah. Maybe. But I think it might be spelled differently.
Girl: That’s odd, really a weird baby name.
Guy: Yes, yes it is. But it’s sort of like, maybe she’s theirs, maybe she’s not. 

–L train

Terror Alert Level: Indifferent

Guy: I think Ground Zero is kind of interesting. There’s nothing there, but it’s kind of cool. Also, if you walk along 5th Avenue there’s a lot of cool stores.

–V train

Fat lady: Well, this was worth the cab ride, I guess.

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: Eileen Donnelly 

Foreign tourist: Excuse me, where is the World Trade Center?
Woman: Um, they’re gone. 

–Church & Warren

Overheard by: Clay Caviness

Literacy: The Most Offensive Ghetto Stereotype

HS girl #1: I read five books a week and my parents get mad at me because it costs them a lot of money.
HS girl #2: I read like five books a week too, but I get mine from the library.
HS girl #1: Oh, that’s ghetto.

–Times Square

Fat Black guy: They ain’t got nuthin’ in here for someone from the ghetto!

–Starbucks, Astor Place Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: Dan Avery 

The PC Keeps Going on Siesta

Clerk: What’s in the box you’re shipping?
Customer: A computer.
Clerk: Where’s it going?
Customer: Spain.
Clerk: Is that domestic?
Customer: No, that’d be fairly international. 

–Kinko’s, Duane Street

Overheard by: Joshua Cody

Girl: Bitch, for the last time, Spain is not part of Latin America!

–Columbia University dorm

Overheard in the Headlines: The Train Bridge Fire

Conductor: We’re experiencing some slight delays. There seems to be a power outage in the station. Or on the tracks. Or there might be an Amtrak line down. You should probably get off now and take the PATH. And if you didn’t hear this message the other three times, I’ll be saying it again in 30 seconds.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: gigglechick

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re on Track A, which is normally an eastbound track. We’re waiting for written instructions to depart. They’re probably making copies for us right now. Thank you for your patience.

–Newark Penn Station

Overheard by: gigglechick