Archive for 2005

Con­ceived While Mom Yelled “No” and Dad Yelled “Yes”

Guy: Yeah, they had the ba­by, named her Maybe, and–
Girl: Wait, they named her Maybe? As in M‑A-Y-B‑E?
Guy: Uh, yeah. Maybe. But I think it might be spelled dif­fer­ent­ly.
Girl: That’s odd, re­al­ly a weird ba­by name.
Guy: Yes, yes it is. But it’s sort of like, maybe she’s theirs, maybe she’s not.

–L train

Ter­ror Alert Lev­el: In­dif­fer­ent

Guy: I think Ground Ze­ro is kind of in­ter­est­ing. There’s noth­ing there, but it’s kind of cool. Al­so, if you walk along 5th Av­enue there’s a lot of cool stores.

–V train

Fat la­dy: Well, this was worth the cab ride, I guess.

–Ground Ze­ro

Over­heard by: Eileen Don­nel­ly

For­eign tourist: Ex­cuse me, where is the World Trade Cen­ter?
Woman: Um, they’re gone.

–Church & War­ren

Over­heard by: Clay Cavi­ness

Lit­er­a­cy: The Most Of­fen­sive Ghet­to Stereo­type

HS girl #1: I read five books a week and my par­ents get mad at me be­cause it costs them a lot of mon­ey.
HS girl #2: I read like five books a week too, but I get mine from the li­brary.
HS girl #1: Oh, that’s ghet­to.

–Times Square

Fat Black guy: They ain’t got nuthin’ in here for some­one from the ghet­to!

–Star­bucks, As­tor Place Barnes & No­ble

Over­heard by: Dan Av­ery

The PC Keeps Go­ing on Sies­ta

Clerk: What’s in the box you’re ship­ping?
Cus­tomer: A com­put­er.
Clerk: Where’s it go­ing?
Cus­tomer: Spain.
Clerk: Is that do­mes­tic?
Cus­tomer: No, that’d be fair­ly in­ter­na­tion­al.

–Kinko’s, Du­ane Street

Over­heard by: Joshua Cody

Girl: Bitch, for the last time, Spain is not part of Latin Amer­i­ca!

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty dorm

Over­heard in the Head­lines: The Train Bridge Fire

Con­duc­tor: We’re ex­pe­ri­enc­ing some slight de­lays. There seems to be a pow­er out­age in the sta­tion. Or on the tracks. Or there might be an Am­trak line down. You should prob­a­bly get off now and take the PATH. And if you did­n’t hear this mes­sage the oth­er three times, I’ll be say­ing it again in 30 sec­onds.

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: gig­glechick

Con­duc­tor: Ladies and gen­tle­men, we’re on Track A, which is nor­mal­ly an east­bound track. We’re wait­ing for writ­ten in­struc­tions to de­part. They’re prob­a­bly mak­ing copies for us right now. Thank you for your pa­tience.

–Newark Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: gig­glechick