Archive for 2005

Snappy Questions to Stupid Questions

Girl #1: You are way more charitable than I am.
Girl #2: Are you saying that only Catholics are charitable?
Girl #1: What?

–1 Train

Overheard by: Karla

In a crowded bathroom, a drunk guy at the short urinal calls over to his friend about six urinals down.

Guy #1: Hey, man! Why is mine so small? Is yours this small?
Guy #2: What?

–Penn Station men’s room

Girl #1: Is it hot in here or are my eyes just burning?
Girl #2: What?

–M66 bus

Overheard by: Gabriella

Real Life Public Service Announcements (NYC Style)

Girl #1: Where have you been lately?
Girl #2: I’ve been with Caesar.
Girl #3: Yo, you’ve been skipping school for a week. What the fuck up with that?
Girl #2: Caesar has been treating me nice. Yo, he got a nice dick and we’ve been fucking every day.
Girl #1: Yo, you better be using protection or you going to be having little Caesars running around.
Girl #2: Yo, we do it raw ’cause he says rubbers don’t feel good on his dick.
Girl #3: Shit, bitch, you better watch yourself.
Old lady: Stop! Stop this talk! You should be ashamed of yourself. You must go to the clinic and get yourself checked out. Look at you! Your friends are ashamed of you! They can’t even look at you! You must go to the clinic and get yourself checked out. You should be ashamed.

–M4 bus

The One Thing He’s Not Dealing is Speed

Woman #1: See that guy in the wheelchair? I think he’s starting to get involved with dealing drugs or something.
Woman #2: Well, I wouldn’t hang around him too much anyway if I were
you. Clearly he couldn’t run away fast enough the first time… 

–Fort Greene

That’s So 4 Years Ago

Guy: I have to be careful about my bag; yesterday I put it down and then stepped to the side and some woman started yelling at me, saying, “You know, it’s 2005 now, I have no problem taking that bag and throwing it off the train.” And I was like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” and she said, “I’m not, I’m protecting myself and the rest of the passengers.”
Woman: The terror alert has been elevated to Birkin.

–Times Square shuttle