Archive for 2005

Snap­py Ques­tions to Stu­pid Ques­tions

Girl #1: You are way more char­i­ta­ble than I am.
Girl #2: Are you say­ing that on­ly Catholics are char­i­ta­ble?
Girl #1: What?

–1 Train

Over­heard by: Kar­la

In a crowd­ed bath­room, a drunk guy at the short uri­nal calls over to his friend about six uri­nals down.

Guy #1: Hey, man! Why is mine so small? Is yours this small?
Guy #2: What?

–Penn Sta­tion men’s room

Girl #1: Is it hot in here or are my eyes just burn­ing?
Girl #2: What?

–M66 bus

Over­heard by: Gabriel­la

Re­al Life Pub­lic Ser­vice An­nounce­ments (NYC Style)

Girl #1: Where have you been late­ly?
Girl #2: I’ve been with Cae­sar.
Girl #3: Yo, you’ve been skip­ping school for a week. What the fuck up with that?
Girl #2: Cae­sar has been treat­ing me nice. Yo, he got a nice dick and we’ve been fuck­ing every day.
Girl #1: Yo, you bet­ter be us­ing pro­tec­tion or you go­ing to be hav­ing lit­tle Cae­sars run­ning around.
Girl #2: Yo, we do it raw ’cause he says rub­bers don’t feel good on his dick.
Girl #3: Shit, bitch, you bet­ter watch your­self.
Old la­dy: Stop! Stop this talk! You should be ashamed of your­self. You must go to the clin­ic and get your­self checked out. Look at you! Your friends are ashamed of you! They can’t even look at you! You must go to the clin­ic and get your­self checked out. You should be ashamed.

–M4 bus

The One Thing He’s Not Deal­ing is Speed

Woman #1: See that guy in the wheel­chair? I think he’s start­ing to get in­volved with deal­ing drugs or some­thing.
Woman #2: Well, I would­n’t hang around him too much any­way if I were
you. Clear­ly he could­n’t run away fast enough the first time…

–Fort Greene

That’s So 4 Years Ago

Guy: I have to be care­ful about my bag; yes­ter­day I put it down and then stepped to the side and some woman start­ed yelling at me, say­ing, “You know, it’s 2005 now, I have no prob­lem tak­ing that bag and throw­ing it off the train.” And I was like, “I’m sor­ry you feel that way,” and she said, “I’m not, I’m pro­tect­ing my­self and the rest of the pas­sen­gers.”
Woman: The ter­ror alert has been el­e­vat­ed to Birkin.

–Times Square shut­tle