Archive for 2005

When We Just Tag Her as “Girl”, Hobos Get Confused

A hobo picked out two girls on line and started insulting them. When the police came to get him he started again.

Hobo: See this is what the White Man does! They’ve gotta protect these little Jewish girls from Long Island, don’t give a shit about proud Black men like me.
Girl: I’m Puerto Rican and from Brooklyn.

He attempts to high five her as the cops escort him away.

Hobo: Right on, sister! 

–19th & Broadway

She Gives Good Overheard

Girl #1: If she moves into your kitchen and her boyfriend visits, you are gonna overhear them fucking.
Girl #2: Uh-uh. I’m puttin’ the kibosh on that.
Girl #1: You can’t tell them they can’t have sex in her own room where she pays rent!
Girl #2: I don’t want to hear no sex…unless it’s on the porn. Or me. Or two men.

–International Bar, 1st Avenue

Overheard by: Nicole A. 

Relax, It Was Yo-Yo Instructions

Dad: …you’ve got to use your middle finger.
Son: Which one’s the middle finger?
Dad: This one.
Son: Why’s it called the middle finger?
Dad: Because it’s in the middle of your hand, I guess. There’s two fingers on either side.
Son: That’s retarded.
Dad: It may sound retarded, but that’s the way it is.

–Astoria corner store

Have a Cracktastic Weekend, New York

Guy #1: Are you on crack?
Guy #2: No…
Guy #1: Man, you’re wearing like five jackets. You’re telling me you’re not on crack? 

–31st & 8th

Man: So I said, “Bitch, I’ll buy you weed, but you want crack go get it yourself!”

–125th & Park

Woman: I’m not a crackhead. I’m a crack user. There’s a difference. 

–Smith & 9th station

Overheard by: Paul Ford

Boy #1: Damn, almost be fallin’ in the tracks.
Boy #2: Dog, you know when you’re on crack you shouldn’t play by the track.

–96th Street 6 station

Overheard by: Eric Barthels