Archive for 2005

Fat Eat­ing Fat: Irony or Hate Crime?

Fat la­dy #1: Ex­cuse me, could you move over?
Thin woman: Well, I can’t move over any­more.
Fat la­dy #1: Ex­cuse me, could you move over?
Fat la­dy #2: There is no way you’re go­ing to fit in that space.
Fat la­dy #1: If you moved over I could. I’m not fat like you.
Fat la­dy #2: Not on­ly are you fat, but you’re crazy. You think I’m fat? Get away be­fore I eat you.

–E train

Don’t Hate the Fend­er, Hate the Grime

Guy #1: Why did the cops just pull that bik­er over?
Guy #2: I dun­no, it’s what, 4AM? Maybe he got on his bike drunk or some­thing…
Guy #1: He’s wear­ing his hel­met and every­thing though.
Guy #2: Yeah, but that mo­tor­cy­cle is pret­ty fuck­ing ug­ly. That or­ange shit on the fend­ers is a crime.

–De­lancey & Lud­low

Over­heard by: a jay

The Gay­dar on Her Tin­foil Hat is Bro­ken

Hoboette: I bet a lot of men try and make out with you.
Guy: Ex­cuse me?
Hoboette: I bet a lot of men try and make out with you. You’ve nev­er had that hap­pen? Every time I see an at­trac­tive, well-groomed man, he is gay. So you are say­ing you aren’t gay?
Guy: Nope.
Hoboette: Keep up the good stuff. Too bad I was­n’t younger.

–52nd & 10th

Per­haps That’s the Problem…Pudga

Run­ner chick #1: What the hell are those peo­ple do­ing?
Run­ner chick #2: They’re in some sort of boot camp class.
Run­ner chick #1: They’re mil­i­tary?
Run­ner chick #2: No, I think they just pay some­one to get them in shape.
Run­ner chick #1: But they’re so sweaty and out of breath! I nev­er get that way with my train­er!

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: Pe­ter