Archive for 2005

Does He Mean That We’re Baked or That We’re Twist­ed?

Pret­zel guy: Where are you from?
Man: I’m from here…I’m Jew­ish.
Pret­zel guy: All Jew­ish peo­ple know where pret­zels are from! What coun­try do pret­zels come from?
Man: I don’t know, where do pret­zels come from?
Pret­zel guy: All Jew­ish peo­ple know where pret­zels come from! I had a Cana­di­an guy last week, I told him, “If you can tell me where pret­zels come from, this one is free!” He told me, and I gave him his mon­ey back! He was Jew­ish. Come on, where do pret­zels come from? All Jew­ish peo­ple know this!
Daugh­ter: We’re not ob­ser­vant.

–34th & 6th

Over­heard by: elise

He’s “Dat­ing” Her as We Speak

Russ­ian chick: I don’t know why he’s so pa­thet­ic that he re­sorts to lap danc­ing. I mean, come on, lap danc­ing! Is he re­al­ly so des­per­ate? He’s a good-look­ing guy, I just don’t un­der­stand how he could stoop so low!
Prep­py guy: No no no, you mis­un­der­stand! He’s not des­per­ate, he’s just in­to that sort of thing… you know, he’s ac­tu­al­ly dat­ing a porn star right now.

–84th be­tween 2nd & 3rd

Over­heard by: Mr. Sausage

The Flam­ing Id­io­cy Sure­ly Con­tributed

Woman: You know, on 9/11 I was the on­ly per­son in low­er Man­hat­tan who was­n’t cough­ing and tear­ing up. My hus­band, he had a hand­ker­chief over his mouth and all the vi­sine and shit and I was like, “Bring it on! This tastes good!” You know why? ‘Cause I’m a smok­er.

–MSG el­e­va­tor

“See, I heard they have dropped calls here all the time.”

A suit drops his cell phone on the side­walk and yells: Fuck!
Tourist dad: Oh my, did you hear what that man said in pub­lic?
Tourist mom: And this is the ex­act rea­son why I don’t want you to move to New York!

–71st & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Ellen