Archive for 2005

Ap­par­ent­ly “African­ized” Means “Us­ing Cyril­lic”

Flute­tard: Does any­one have any re­quests?
Teen boy: You know At­tack of the Bum­ble­bees?
Flute­tard: Uh? At­tack of the Bum­ble­bees? Yes. No. You mean Flight of the Bum­ble­bee?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Flute­tard: No, I need the sheet mu­sic. It’s Russ­ian.

–out­side Dela­corte The­ater, Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: Dami­an Kel­ly

Over­heard Hops on the Gen­er­al Lee

La­dy: The on­ly film that Jes­si­ca Simp­son be­longs in is a snuff film.
Guy: Now that shit would be a block­buster!

–Sony Lin­coln Square, 68th Street

Over­heard by: Casey McK­endrick

Man #1: I don’t rec­og­nize any of the ac­tors in the new Dukes of Haz­zard movie.
Man #2: There’s one guy who all the kids know in it. He got fa­mous on that show…what was it called?…Ass­hole.

–Park Slope

What Do They Have, Clogs? Pip­pi Pig­tails or Someshit?

Woman: Ex­cuse me, I left my pass­port in the ladies’ room.
Stew­ardess guy: I’m sor­ry, madam, you’ll have to wait un­til we make our way down the aisle.
Woman: But I need to get my pass­port.
Stew­ardess guy: I un­der­stand that, but we can­not move this cart back far enough. We should be through in a few min­utes.
Woman: But it’s in the bath­room! What if some­one takes it?
Stew­ardess guy: If it’s not in the bath­room when you get there, let one of us know and we’ll make an an­nounce­ment.
Woman: No, I can’t wait for that to hap­pen, I have to go and get my pass­port now.
Stew­ardess guy: I un­der­stand, but as I’ve ex­plained to you be­fore, you must wait. Please re­turn to your seat.
Woman: Oh, you’re very nice. You know, in the Unit­ed States, peo­ple don’t be­have like that.
Stew­ardess guy: In the Nether­lands peo­ple don’t dress like that.

–KLM flight to JFK