Archive for 2005

Sure It Does!…Just Noth­ing In­ter­est­ing

Crazy la­dy: Cana­da does­n’t do this. You see this? You see this open gate block­ing the side­walk? Cana­da would nev­er do this. This would nev­er hap­pen in Cana­da. Look at all these garbage bags on the side of the street. Now, that’s glam­orous. Re­al glam­orous. This would nev­er hap­pen in Toron­to. Cana­da would nev­er do this. Hey, you! Cana­da does­n’t do this.
Guy: Cana­da does­n’t do a lot of things.

–12th Street be­tween 2nd & 3rd

Over­heard by: Cari

“What do you mean, you’re an Av­er­age Joe?”

Woman #1: She had been dat­ing him for, like, two years and then she saw him on a re­al­i­ty dat­ing show last night. Now she’s go­ing break up with him.
Woman #2: Well, maybe the show was filmed be­fore they were dat­ing. You know, some­times those things take a while to get on the air.
Woman #1: They were go­ing out for 2 years! Don’t you think he should have at least men­tioned to her, “By the way, I was on a dat­ing show”?

–Du­ane Reade, 52nd be­tween Madi­son & Park

Over­heard by: Cap­tain Ob­vi­ous

The Se­cret is Putting Marsh­mal­low Bits in the Vials

Fat guy #1: So I go in and he’s like, “This def­i­nite­ly is­n’t a fun job or any­thing. It’s not an ex­cit­ing job. This is­n’t one of those jobs where you go­ing to be hap­py about com­ing in­to the of­fice in the morn­ing. This job is­n’t, you know, you’re not go­ing to learn any­thing at this job. But you’ll make a lot of mon­ey.”
Fat guy #2: Cool.
Fat guy #1: Yeah, so I can sell my soul, y’­know? I’m like, “I’ll sell crack to kids if I could make a lot of mon­ey.”

–E train