Archive for 2005

Sure It Does!…Just Nothing Interesting

Crazy lady: Canada doesn’t do this. You see this? You see this open gate blocking the sidewalk? Canada would never do this. This would never happen in Canada. Look at all these garbage bags on the side of the street. Now, that’s glamorous. Real glamorous. This would never happen in Toronto. Canada would never do this. Hey, you! Canada doesn’t do this.
Guy: Canada doesn’t do a lot of things.

–12th Street between 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: Cari

Actually, Do Mind the Bollocks

Women: Ugh! Excuse me?
Man: Excuse me? Excuse you!
Women: You keep grabbing your balls. It’s not nice!
Man: You’re right. I’m sorry.

–F train

Overheard by: MASON

Teenage girl: Don’t fucking touch me! Your hand is so pubic; you’ve been scratching your balls all day long!

–L train

The Secret is Putting Marshmallow Bits in the Vials

Fat guy #1: So I go in and he’s like, “This definitely isn’t a fun job or anything. It’s not an exciting job. This isn’t one of those jobs where you going to be happy about coming into the office in the morning. This job isn’t, you know, you’re not going to learn anything at this job. But you’ll make a lot of money.”
Fat guy #2: Cool.
Fat guy #1: Yeah, so I can sell my soul, y’know? I’m like, “I’ll sell crack to kids if I could make a lot of money.”

–E train