AM New York guy: AM New York! AM!
Metro lady: Shaddap!
AM New York guy: AM! AM!
Metro lady: Shaddap! Shaddap! Metro!
–42nd & Park
Overheard by: Jodie Goodnough
AM New York lady: AM New York! They ain’t playin’.
–53rd & 7th
Overheard by: Camodee D
Little girl: I thought your mom wore really short skirts and see-through shirts.
Mother: No, that’s your other grandmother.
–F train
Guy: Plutarch was–
Girl: Plutarch can suck my cunt. He was stupid.
–1 train
Overheard by: Jesse Shaver
Hipster girl: I want him to think I’m clever, not some desperate a‑hole.
Hipster guy: Good luck!
–Central Park
Guy: Is that your boyfriend? I saw you guys making out at the bar.
Drunk girl: He’s just a friend. He’s whatever. I’ll probably be making out with you tomorrow.
Guy: That’s great.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Spooner
Drunk girl: Is that your new wallet?
Drunk guy: No, it’s my umbrella.
–Daddy’s, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Bart Calendar
Woman: Where are we going?
Man: We’re going to Drunk City!
–1 train
Overheard by: steph m
Two guys and a girl are walking down a street when a strange man sitting in an office chair rolls toward them.
Chair guy: Ah, this girl got two boyfriends! Mmm…Can a black man join the club? Can…a black man.…join the club. Join the club.
–4th & Jane
Overheard by: marissa
Sun-bathing girl #1: Uh oh, they’re bringing a dog into a No Dogs Allowed park.
Sun-bathing girl #2: I don’t understand that rule. I think it should be no kids or dogs allowed.
Sun-bathing girl #3: Yeah, I hate kids.
Sun-bathing girl #2: I’d kill a baby for a Birkin bag.
–Central Park
Overheard by: JB
Guy #1: Hey, what’s up?
Guy #2: Not much.
Guy #1: I heard you went to the hospital or something.
Guy #2: Yeah, I stopped breathing.
–F train
Girl #1: I’m hungry.
Girl #2: Sorry, I don’t got anything. No wait, I have melon that I brought.
Girl #1: You have what in your bra?
–120th & Riverside Drive
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
