Archive for 2005

The Toilet Kept Getting Encores

Dude #1: Hey, I’ve got some Valium if you want.
Dude #2: Nah, that’s a bad idea right before a show.
Girl: Well, I have some laxatives.
Dude #1: No way, remember what happened last time?
Dude #2: That was a really nice bathroom, though.

–F train

Overheard by: Athena

Becoming Jessica and Ashlee

Two young girls switch seats while in their stroller.

Daddy dearest: Never do that again!

They shrink in horror. One starts to cry.

Daddy dearest: Now smile for Daddy!

–Central Park Zoo

Overheard by: girl w/ camera

Take Me Out to the Bore Game

Snack guy: Peanuts! Get your peanuts here! Buy one, get the second for the same price!

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: HelloClairice

Suit #1: He basically crawled up my ass and started punching me from the inside.
Suit #2: Nice picture, dude. Christ.

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Brett

Girl on cell: I’m here in Harlem right next to Yankee Stadium.

–4 train

Woman: It’s a good thing we got here early. I don’t want to miss the kickoff.

–Shea Stadium

Chick #1: Boo, you’re gonna miss!
Chick #2: Aren’t you cheering for the wrong team?
Chick #1: I wasn’t cheering, I was making an ominous prediction.

–Richmond County Ballpark

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Guy #1: I thought that girl was his daughter. He has to be in his 50s.
Guy #2: I know, it’s skeeving me right out.
Guy #1: What do you think? She’s 22 or 23?
Guy #2: Dude, she’s a hard 18 tops.

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Todd Horan