Girl: This isn’t right. We’re supposed to be on Murray Street.
Guy: Dude, you know I’m dyslexic!
–Warren & Greenwich
Archive for 2005
The Scent of a Dwarf’s Dick, Sevenfold
Guy: Your breath stinks, get away from me!
Girl: I just woke up. Imagine if the Prince had said that to Snow White? You think her breath smelled so great?
–98th & Columbus
Overheard by: Danielle Harris
Will Knows What I’m Talking About
Girl #1: Did you know Will doesn’t like saggy boobs?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: You know, the ones that go to the hips.
–Lafayette between Franklin & White
Overheard by: Mike T.
Fine with the Putrid Cylindrical Breasts, Huh?
Guy #1: I’m not worried about having children. If I’m 50 and I don’t have kids, I will still be happy.
Guy #2: At 50 you could still have kids. You’d just have to knock up a younger woman.
Guy #1: I couldn’t handle being with a women 20 years younger than me. Too much different slang to deal with.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Yeah, that’s the biggest reason I don’t sleep with 70 year olds.
–A train
That Taco Bell Lottery is Totally Rigged
Guy #1: Look! Someone won the megamillion. I can’t believe we didn’t win that money.
Guy #2: I can’t believe we didn’t win those fuckin’ burritos…what the fuck is that?
–Hudson & Charlton
Technically That Makes Him a Refugee
Guy: Is this where I get off?
Girl #1: No, 34th Street is next stop.
Guy: I wouldn’t know these things. I’m a tourist.
Girl #2: No you’re not!
Guy: I’m a tourist…from Queens.
–R train
Overheard by: Dani_Nisa
Please God, Let Her Have Been Speaking Literally
Lesbian #1: Do you think she’s a trannie?
Lesbian #2: I don’t know. Would you still do her if she was?
Lesbian #1: She’s so hot that it wouldn’t even matter.
Lesbian #2: Then can you let me off the hook for sleeping with that
hermaphrodite?
–Long Island City
“This music tastes like shit!”
Girl: Who’s playing tonight?
Guy: Coheed and Cambria.
Girl: Oh man, I shouldn’t have done all that acid.
–15th & Irving
I Sense a Learning Annex Course
Old drunk Southern guy: Woo!
Young drunk Southern guy: Ha, ha, ha! Woo woo!
Old drunk Southern guy: Come on, it’s one “woo”! Woo!
Young drunk Southern guy: Ha, ha, ha! Woo woo!
Old drunk Southern guy: Just one woo! Woo!
–6 train
Overheard by: C & J
Who Says Women Can’t Be Metrosexuals?
Chick #1: A black thong with that skirt, what is she thinking? It’s totally see-through!
Chick #2: Yeah, but who’d want to look?
Chick #1: Oh my god, we are such hateful bitches!
Chick #2: I know!
–15th & 5th