Archive for 2005

He Was Home­schooled in Anato­my

White guy #1: Dude, so I was like, mov­ing in on this girl, and she was prud­ing. So she was say­ing, “I’m not that kind of girl, find some­one else to hook up with.”
White guy #2: But you weren’t gonna let her off that easy.
White guy #1: Course not. So I’m like, “But I wan­na hook up with you.” So then I’m like, “Wan­na dance?” And she’s like, “Okay.” And then when we get on the dance floor, this girl who was like a to­tal prude the en­tire time be­comes a freak. She was just like rub­bin’ up on my pee-pee and every­thing.
White guy #3: So you think you’re gonna hook up with her tonight?
White guy #1: Nah nah, the odds of her touch­ing my pee-pee tonight are slim.

–Pal­la­di­um, 14th Street

Over­heard by: The Smut Grem­lin

You’re Bare­foot When They Put You in the Ground

Ital­ian guy #1: For some guys, it’s all right.
Ital­ian guy #2: The fuck­ing Is­raelis start­ed that shit.
Ital­ian guy #1: I don’t see noth­ing wrong with it, if that’s what you’re in­to…
Ital­ian guy #2: The day I wear a square-toed shoe, put me in the fuck­ing ground!

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: James