Teen boy: What are you eating?
Teen girl: It’s called…Gateau.
Teen boy: What’s Gateau?
Teen girl: Like…fancy French cake.
Teen boy: Sounds Gateau-fabulous.
–N train
Overheard by: valerie
Archive for 2005
Why Would He Buy a Bag from Himself?
Street vendor: Hey, you married?
Woman: No.
Street vendor: Hmph. Me neither. If we were married, I would buy you a bag. Since we’re not, it will cost you $5.
–33rd & 6th
Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon
Tarantino’s Remake of The Sixth Sense
Guy: Chicago is obviously a better city than New York. New York is Tourist Central.
Girl: That’s not true, there are still parts of the city that are untainted.
Guy: Yeah, like where?
Girl: I dunno, like, some places I still see a lot of graffiti and black people.
–56th & Lexington
Overheard by: Becca
The Raw Power of The Idiot II
British lady: Oh, hello there. Hello there. What is your name?
American guy: His name is Iggy-Pup.
British lady: Oh, Iggy-pop? It’d be a lot funnier if his name was Iggy-pup.
American guy: It is.
British lady: You know. Like my dog, for example: Chompsky. Get it?
American guy: Yes, that’s nice.
–1 train
Overheard by: James Gillece
That’s All You Need to Know Aboot Canadia
HS boy #1: You probably never had Power Rangers as a kid.
HS boy #2: Uh, dude, we had TV in Canada!
HS boy #3: See man, this is what happens when you don’t live in
Scarsdale all your life. You learn stuff.
–1 train
Overheard by: Julia Kite
Guaranteed That’s the Wittiest She’ll Ever Be
Girl #1: So, he kept on calling me and calling me and calling me.
Girl #2: Well…what did you do? Did you answer your phone?
Girl #1: Yeah…I answered the phone and said to him, “Thanks for stalking by.” He hung up after that and I haven’t heard from him again.
–Cafeteria, 7th Avenue
This Gay Slang Gets Really Odd Really Quick
Woman #1: So I organized my closet–
Woman #2: Ohmigod, I love that! It’s like a natural high! Did you put things in boxes?
Woman #1: No, bags.
Woman #2: Ohmigod! Did you label them?
Woman #1: Yeah, I put stickers on them.
Woman #2: Ohmigod, that’s great!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anastasia
What An Ass
Guy: I don’t want to be drunk in front of her.
Girl: What? Why not?
Guy: I don’t want her to see me like that.
Girl: But face down on the floor is really the only way to see you.
–84th & 2nd
Overheard by: mortimer stackendanch
More Like a Pickle
Sober black guy: Oh no, call the ambulance, white man down!
Drunk white guy: I know, I’m such a cracker!
–Lexington & 22nd
Overheard by: Zane Gould
Ten Years, Give or Take
Old man #1: …so she processes it and hands me back the form and it hits me like a ton of bricks: Senior! I’m a senior now! Do I look like a senior?
Old man #2: …How long do I have to answer that?
–Elevator, Worth & Church
Overheard by: Cap’n Mid-nite
