Girl #1: So what do you do?
Girl #2: I’m a fashion designer.
Girl #1: Oh, really? For who?
Girl #2: For myself.
–Black & White, East 10th Street
Overheard by: MojoSaves
Archive for 2005
“I’m a wisher, not an accountant!”
Teen boy #1: I’m starving. If I had three wishes, I’d ask for three David’s bagels.
Teen boy #2: Why not just use one wish and ask for three bagels?
–A train
Overheard by: Jarett Wieselman
The Consignment Clothes Sure Add to the Look
Girl #1: Quick, we have to get that cab!
Girl #2: Omigod I can’t believe we’re running in public!
Girl #1: We’re so homeless!
–10th & Broadway
Maybe If You Shaved Your Balls?
Crazy woman: Get out of my way Andrea!
Guy: Wow, I didn’t know my name was Andrea; maybe I should grow my hair out so I at least look the part.
–Fairway, 74th & Broadway
The Commercial Said to Collect Them All
Chick: …wait, what?
Man: Yeah, I have hepatitis.
Chick : Which one?
Man: …A and C.
–Yaffa Cafe, St. Marks
He Means Giving Her a Black Eye
Woman: I’m pretty sure that the guy standing next to the door is smoking weed right now.
Man: I’ll give up my seat if I can have a hit.
–6 train
Overheard by: Laurel Moeslein
Yeah, But the Doves Sit in the Back
Girl: How did pigeons get in here?
Guy: They flew.
Girl: Do you think it can get on the bus?
–Port Authority
Overheard by: heather gross
It’s a Mixture of Ivory and Joy
Guy #1: He sucks, though I don’t want him working there with me.
Guy #2: Why does he suck? Is he slow at washing dishes or something?
Guy #1: Yeah, he takes forever. All I do is throw them in the water, skeet on ’em and put them in the drying rack.
–L train
He Means a Very Upset Infant
Guy: …And she had the nerve; she didn’t even ask me to be her friend. She just sent me her profile!
Chick: Omigod, you should so send her a frowny.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: djlindee
They Must Be Chemistry Majors
Fratboy #1: Did I tell you what Danny said to me?
Fratboy #2: No.
Fratboy #1: Pulls me into his room, says, “I have two things to talk to you about. One, we can’t have so many house parties, because the house doesn’t want that. And two, when we have house parties, only I can go around handing out acid, ’cause that’s what the house wants.”
Fratboy #2: Whoa.
Fratboy #1: I was like, “Danny, you have pissed me off.” I walked out of there.
–Crunch, East 13th Street
Overheard by: John Osvald