Dude: You’re not from New York, are you?
Chick: No, I’m not.
Dude: Thought not. You’re too nice.
Chick: That’s the second time I’ve heard that today.
–82nd & Columbus
Overheard by: Kevin Eliasen
Archive for 2005
There’s an Extra Fee for Handling
Professor guy: …they were shipping prostitutes across state lines–
Girl: Wait, what do you mean by “shipping”? Like in boxes?
–Baruch College
Those Are Totally Knockoffs
Bags woman: Ladies…Gucci, Prada, Louis! Ladies…
Hot dog guy: Ladies, get your Gucci hot dogs here…Prada hot dogs!
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Lori
Prince Alberts Ruin Another Ecclesiastical Career
Indian guy: Yo, I never told you I almost became a monk.
White guy: Shut up. You serious?
Indian guy: For real. I was this close. Before I applied for colleges, I checked out what you had to do to become a monk.
White guy: I couldn’t picture you as a monk. You don’t even go to church.
Indian guy: I know, right? I found out that they don’t allow piercings so I never applied.
–6 train
Overheard by: Yasmin Henning
Nothing Says “I Love You” Like a Lat Spread
Girl #1: I never realized how nice his back was until we broke up.
Girl #2: As he was walking away from you?
–Stuyvesant & 3rd
Overheard by: katyunextraordinaire
Then He Sold Her a Mogwai
Girl #1: I was on the subway once and missed my stop and ended up in Brooklyn. Not hipster Brooklyn, I’m talking about fried chicken and people sitting on curbs Brooklyn.
Girl #2: Wow, were you scared?
Girl #1: Yeah, so I just asked a toothless 80 year old man where the closest subway station was.
–8th Street between University & 5th
Overheard by: Jasmin Livingston
I’ll Bring the Video Camera and Popcorn
Girl #1: So, I’ve been thinking, I think I could be a lesbian. You know, get really really close with a girl. But I don’t think I would want to hook up!
Girl #2: So…kinda like friends?
Girl #1: Oh yeah. I guess so.
Girl #3: So does that make us all lesbians?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Zoe Valen
The Smartest Woman Who Ever Lived
Man: You still have sex with your ex-husband?
Woman: He paid me!
–Rudy’s, 9th Avenue
The Notorious St. Pauli Girl Keg
Guy #1: Hey, check her out, she’s so hot.
Guy #2: Eh, she’s decent.
Guy #1: I’d do her
Guy #2: I’d tap her, but not too hard.
–25th & Lexington
Overheard by: Eugene Lee
Then Explain That St. Ignatius Menorah
Guy #1: She’s really religious, she even goes to a Jesuit school.
Girl #1: Oh! Like JTS?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: What? Isn’t Jesuit another word for Jewish? Like Orthodox or something?
Guy #1: Um, no.
–Columbia University