Archive for March, 2006

Howie Man­del in 5 Years

Girl #1: I don’t un­der­stand why he’s so pop­u­lar.
Girl #2: It’s ob­vi­ous­ly be­cause he’s a drug deal­er.

–Broad­way be­tween Grand & Howard

Deal­er guy: Hey man, buy some weed?
Yup­pie guy: Sure. And while I’m at it, why don’t I just not send my
kids to school, get them ad­dict­ed to hero­in, and leave them on the
street to die?
Deal­er guy: You sure you don’t want some weed?

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Nev­er For­get

Woman #1: God, that was so fun­ny when all of those Nazis walked in­to the court­room and their hair­styles were like Hitler’s!
Man: Well, I mean, it makes sense, I guess. You know, peo­ple al­ways copy fa­mous peo­ple when it comes to stuff like that.
Woman #2: Yeah, like re­mem­ber when I had that ter­ri­ble Dorothy Hamill hair­cut?

–Hous­ton Street sta­tion

Yes, It Would Be

Girl #1: That’s so fun­ny. I’ve al­ways said, “That would be two of us.” So how do you use it?
Girl #2: “That would be­hoove us.”…Well, you don’t use it that way. You say “of”. “That would be hoove of us.” As in, that would be smart of us.

–Q train

Over­heard by: Mor­gan