Archive for March, 2006

Howie Mandel in 5 Years

Girl #1: I don’t understand why he’s so popular.
Girl #2: It’s obviously because he’s a drug dealer.

–Broadway between Grand & Howard

Dealer guy: Hey man, buy some weed?
Yuppie guy: Sure. And while I’m at it, why don’t I just not send my
kids to school, get them addicted to heroin, and leave them on the
street to die?
Dealer guy: You sure you don’t want some weed?

–Washington Square Park

No Shit?

Teen boy #1: Yo son, butt sex mad disgusting.
Teen boy #2: No, it ain’t. If she shit before you do it you won’t get no poop on yo dick.
Teen boy #1: Pfft. They always be shit in her ass even if she shits.
Teen boy #2: Nah, son.
Teen boy #1: When you pull the mushroom out there gonna be shit under it.
Teen boy #2: Ha, ha, ha! No, it ain’t…Ask her about it.

–R train

Overheard by: Evan Walsh

Yes, It Would Be

Girl #1: That’s so funny. I’ve always said, “That would be two of us.” So how do you use it?
Girl #2: “That would behoove us.”…Well, you don’t use it that way. You say “of”. “That would be hoove of us.” As in, that would be smart of us.

–Q train

Overheard by: Morgan