Archive for April, 2006

High Schools

Girl #1: You gotta figure out what you’re gonna study in college. you oughta check out this holistic college, ya know, for holistic medicine?
Girl #2: Yeah, like holistic medicine?
Girl #1: It’s a two-year program to get certified and it’s all hippies who are all potted up so you don’t have to do anything.
Girl #2: You mean, like “sit on this crystal and write a paper about it.”
Girl #1: Ha ha! Yeah, so then you’re certified. You oughta do that.
Girl #2: Maybe I’ll be a pilot. 

–N train

Hobos Just Can’t Close

Realtor guy:…and the area is really gentrifying quite nicely…very safe. The people from the projects never come over to this side of the neighborhood, so it’s a great place to raise a family.

Homeless passerby pushing a wheelbarrow full of junk: Could you folks help me out with some money to buy food? Give me money. I haven’t eaten in three days.

Realtor guy: Sorry, I… I work on commission. [To his clients] This happens even in Cobble Hill.

The husband and wife walk towards their car.

Homeless guy: Come on man, I’m hungry!

Realtor guy: Fuck you, you just cost me a commission!

–Dwight & Dikeman, Red Hook

Overheard by: Paul J. Pinizzotto