Archive for May, 2006

Wednes­day One-lin­ers, Ba­by Chic

Cast­ing per­son: Ok, here’s the prob­lem, they don’t wan’t a ba­by with a huge head com­pared to his chest, nor do they want to see gross veins all over its chest. They want the fuck­ing Ger­ber ba­by, ok?

–38th be­tween 7th & 8th

Friend to new moth­er with in­fant: All ba­bies look great in black. Did you know that?

–Madi­son & 91st

Over­heard by: Kel­ly Smith

Woman: Ac­tu­al­ly, now that they’ve start­ed talk­ing, the twins are much less creepy.

–Cen­tral Park

Li­on Alert Lev­el: Yel­low

Lit­tle girl, loud­ly: ROAR!
Lit­tle girl’s dad: Leslie, stop it, you’re scar­ing the peo­ple.
Lit­tle girl, qui­et­ly: Roar…
Lit­tle girl’s dad: Very nice Les, scare them sub­tly.

–Pay­less, 225th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: NARS

When One Door Clos­es…

Con­duc­tor #1: Uh, Jack?
Con­duc­tor #2: Yeah Joe.
Con­duc­tor #1: We need to stop.
Con­duc­tor #2: Stop? What do you mean stop?! We’re in the mid­dle of a tun­nel!
Con­duc­tor #1: A door just opened.
Con­duc­tor #2: What the.….

–N train

Over­heard by: melis­sa