D’Agostino check-out counter girl, loudly into the store intercom: Jason, what’s your password?
–D’Agostino, Greenwich & Barrow
Archive for July, 2006
In Some Countries, Losing Your Virginity Doggy-Style in a Bathroom Stall Is Considered a Rite of Passage
Mother: It’s ok, honey.
Teenager: I just feel like a slut.
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: DaFunk
It’s Getting Harder and Harder to Keep Up With Trends
Hostess: Actually, you are sitting on the table.
Customer: Oops.
–Sushi Samba, 7th Avenue South
Overheard by: AJ Stone
What Do You Think This Is, Tower Records?
Customer: Do you have the documentary on Marlene Dietrich made by
her nephew, David Riva?
Sales girl: Who’s that again?
Customer: Marlene Dietrich.
Sales girl: [blank look]Customer: Come on, Dietrich!! You know, Garbo, Monroe, Dietrich…
the big ones.
Sales girl: Hey, I’m sorry. I don’t know everybody.
–Virgin Megastore, Times Square
Overheard by: Gladys M
Headline by: Steve
Runners-Up:
· “A Virgin employee apologizing… she must be new, she hasn’t grown a superiority complex yet” — Matthew McGuirl
· “Have you ever read anything by Seuss?” — Steve Harhart
· “He never could deliver a pick-up line without getting angry” — AK
· “I Need a Gay Male Employee at the Front Desk Please, a Gay Male Employee” — Jennifer Koretsky
· “I think she was in something with Tom Cruise…?” — Michelle
· “Plus he lost her at “documentary”” — Amy Stephenson
· “Sales clerk caught unaware of hip new trend called “History”” — Andy
· “She wears a nametag to satisfy her own curiosity” — Amanda
· “They’re Dead to Me” — Toby
· “Wait… Your’e Telling Me Stuff Happened Before I Was Born?” — DanC
And a Year’s Free Whispered Comments From Strangers
Arguably redeemable patient: What is the fee for breast implants?
Secretary: $1100
Arguably redeemable patient: $1100? Does that include, like, installation?
–NY Presbyterian Hospital, E 68th St
Overheard by: Johnny Drama
At Least According to US News & World Report
Lady #1: You need a school ID?…What the hell, let’s sneak in!
Lady #2: I’ve been thrown out of better places than Columbia!
–Outside Avery Library, Columbia University
But Then What Will He Use as a Toilet?
Hobo: Can you spare some change for the homeless?
Drunk girl: Yeah, right. Sell that backpack first.
–4th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andrew Schulte
Yuppie Child Enters Lifelong Apprenticeship
Little girl, reading children’s book aloud: Mariko is Japanese. She eats sushi.
Mom: But we know that [pointing to picture] is actually sashimi.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Caitlin
Wasn’t This a Patrick Dempsey Teen Movie?
Mid-20’s woman #1: What’s the best way to get puke out of leather?
Mid-20’s woman #2: I think you’re too old to be asking that question.
–140th & Broadway
Mom Gets Her Inner Ho-Bag Out of the Garage
Man: It was nice to meet you. Now will you shake my hand?
Little boy: No.
Man: Why not?
Little boy: Because she gave you her number, but she already has a boyfriend! I don’t like that.
Woman: Shut up. That’s not true.
Little boy: If it isn’t, then why did it say “Jason and Trish, together forever” on your phone, when I turned it on right now?
Woman: Together forever, my ass; now shut up!
–Q37 bus, Liberty Ave
