Archive for July, 2006

What Do You Think This Is, Tower Records?

Customer: Do you have the documentary on Marlene Dietrich made by
her nephew, David Riva?
Sales girl: Who’s that again?
Customer: Marlene Dietrich.
Sales girl: [blank look]Customer: Come on, Dietrich!! You know, Garbo, Monroe, Dietrich…
the big ones.
Sales girl: Hey, I’m sorry. I don’t know everybody.

–Virgin Megastore, Times Square

Overheard by: Gladys M
Headline by: Steve 

· “A Virgin employee apologizing… she must be new, she hasn’t grown a superiority complex yet” — Matthew McGuirl
· “Have you ever read anything by Seuss?” — Steve Harhart
· “He never could deliver a pick-up line without getting angry” — AK
· “I Need a Gay Male Employee at the Front Desk Please, a Gay Male Employee” — Jennifer Koretsky
· “I think she was in something with Tom Cruise…?” — Michelle
· “Plus he lost her at “documentary”” — Amy Stephenson
· “Sales clerk caught unaware of hip new trend called “History”” — Andy
· “She wears a nametag to satisfy her own curiosity” — Amanda
· “They’re Dead to Me” — Toby
· “Wait… Your’e Telling Me Stuff Happened Before I Was Born?” — DanC

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Mom Gets Her Inner Ho-Bag Out of the Garage

Man: It was nice to meet you. Now will you shake my hand?
Little boy: No.
Man: Why not?
Little boy: Because she gave you her number, but she already has a boyfriend! I don’t like that.
Woman: Shut up. That’s not true.
Little boy: If it isn’t, then why did it say “Jason and Trish, together forever” on your phone, when I turned it on right now?
Woman: Together forever, my ass; now shut up!

–Q37 bus, Liberty Ave