D’Agostino check-out counter girl, loudly into the store intercom: Jason, what’s your password?
–D’Agostino, Greenwich & Barrow
Archive for July, 2006
In Some Countries, Losing Your Virginity Doggy-Style in a Bathroom Stall Is Considered a Rite of Passage
Mother: It’s ok, honey.
Teenager: I just feel like a slut.
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: DaFunk
It’s Getting Harder and Harder to Keep Up With Trends
Hostess: Actually, you are sitting on the table.
Customer: Oops.
–Sushi Samba, 7th Avenue South
Overheard by: AJ Stone
What Do You Think This Is, Tower Records?
Customer: Do you have the documentary on Marlene Dietrich made by
her nephew, David Riva?
Sales girl: Who’s that again?
Customer: Marlene Dietrich.
Sales girl: [blank look]Customer: Come on, Dietrich!! You know, Garbo, Monroe, Dietrich…
the big ones.
Sales girl: Hey, I’m sorry. I don’t know everybody.
–Virgin Megastore, Times Square
Overheard by: Gladys M
Headline by: Steve
Runners-Up:
· “A Virgin employee apologizing… she must be new, she hasn’t grown a superiority complex yet” – Matthew McGuirl
· “Have you ever read anything by Seuss?” – Steve Harhart
· “He never could deliver a pick-up line without getting angry” – AK
· “I Need a Gay Male Employee at the Front Desk Please, a Gay Male Employee” – Jennifer Koretsky
· “I think she was in something with Tom Cruise…?” – Michelle
· “Plus he lost her at “documentary”” – Amy Stephenson
· “Sales clerk caught unaware of hip new trend called “History”” – Andy
· “She wears a nametag to satisfy her own curiosity” – Amanda
· “They’re Dead to Me” – Toby
· “Wait. . . Your’e Telling Me Stuff Happened Before I Was Born?” – DanC
And a Year’s Free Whispered Comments From Strangers
Arguably redeemable patient: What is the fee for breast implants?
Secretary: $1100
Arguably redeemable patient: $1100? Does that include, like, installation?
–NY Presbyterian Hospital, E 68th St
Overheard by: Johnny Drama
At Least According to US News & World Report
Lady #1: You need a school ID?…What the hell, let’s sneak in!
Lady #2: I’ve been thrown out of better places than Columbia!
–Outside Avery Library, Columbia University
Your Engagement to My Sister Is Off, But We’re Still Friends
White hipster #1: Yeah, I just moved into a place in Bushwick. I’m the only black guy for, like, five miles.
Other white hipsters stare at him.
White hipster #1: What?
–Yale Club, Vanderbilt Ave
But Then What Will He Use as a Toilet?
Hobo: Can you spare some change for the homeless?
Drunk girl: Yeah, right. Sell that backpack first.
–4th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andrew Schulte
Yuppie Child Enters Lifelong Apprenticeship
Little girl, reading children’s book aloud: Mariko is Japanese. She eats sushi.
Mom: But we know that [pointing to picture] is actually sashimi.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Caitlin
Wasn’t This a Patrick Dempsey Teen Movie?
Mid-20’s woman #1: What’s the best way to get puke out of leather?
Mid-20’s woman #2: I think you’re too old to be asking that question.
–140th & Broadway