NYU chick : Wait, he’s 28!
Friend : Yeah, I know. And he’s Asian
–Uptown 6 train
Archive for October, 2006
But I Want You to Do All the Leg Work
Mom: I’m going to Chris’ book opening tonight.
Teen son: Is Chris going to be there?
Mom: Yes, of course. Why?
Teen son: Well, tell him I said, ‘Hi.’ When I grow up, I want to have contacts.
–Doctor’s office, Chelsea
Overheard by: Alison
Since Kathie Lee Left, Regis Has Become More Volatile Every Year
Conductor: Next stop, 110th. This one goes to Van Cortlandt.
Tourette’s man: I know, you fuck! Stop yelling at me!
–1 train
How Did You Get Past the Doorman?
Club dude: Yeah, but I don’t understand why she won’t talk to me.
Club dudette: Because she’s attractive and you’re ugly.
Club dude: Oh, yeah, okay, that makes sense.
–Meatpacking district
Overheard by: Harrison
‘Hey, Big Titty Mama!’: Reminiscences of a Life in New York
Girl #1: Somebody in a limo yelled something obscene at me today, but I couldn’t hear them because I had my iPod on.
Girl #2: Yeah, you should always have your iPod on so you can’t hear the terrible things people shout at you.
Girl #1: But then I wouldn’t have any material for my memoirs!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overheard by: Monia Paford
She’s Just an Enthusiastic Lesbian
Old woman cheering for President Bush’s passing caravan: Viva Bush! Viva Bush!
Younger woman: Well, at least one out of a million New Yorkers ain’t bad.
–50th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: ~emily
It’s the Foundation of Janeane Garofalo’s Stand-up Act
Hobo: I’m tired of your bullshit.
Girl: Me, too.
–E 14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Angie
Arguing about Public Policy Is Normal for Rednecks Since Carville
Chick: Wait, so he was the black dude from Tennessee on the debate team that you were talking to?
Dude: Yeah. Well, no. He was normal.
Chick: What do you mean?
Dude: He was white.
–Soho
Overheard by: drunk at the bar
When Unpleasant Topics Arise, a Lady Adroitly Redirects the Conversation
Frat boy #1: Remember that pussy I was hittin’ a few weeks ago?
Frat boy #2: Yeah.
Frat boy #1: She’s in a coma now.
Frat boy #2’s girlfriend: That reminds me of that Smiths song, ‘Girlfriend in a Coma.’ Have you ever heard it?
–Virgin Megastore
Did I Say Rats? I Meant Husbands
Elderly woman: Do you know where the rat killer is?
Younger customer: I am not sure they carry that here. You should speak to a clerk
Elderly woman: A lot of people with pet rats don’t want them anymore.
–PetCo, Kips Bay
Overheard by: Glad I Have Dogs
