Archive for 2006

In That It In­volved Me

Prep­py boy #1: You went to her Sweet 16, and you did­n’t know how to spell her name?!
Prep­py boy #2: So what? What was the name of that bitch you fucked last night?
Prep­py boy #1: Um, I don’t know… But it’s com­plete­ly dif­fer­ent! To­tal­ly dif­fer­ent sit­u­a­tion.

–Track 130, Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: TheS­lyVe­g­an

You’re Not Okay with That?

Limo dri­ver: What are you try­ing to do?!
Cab­bie: Did you not see the oth­er guy, what he was do­ing? I had to move.
Limo dri­ver: So he tries to kill you, and you move over and try to kill me?
Cab­bie: What you want me to do?
Limo dri­ver: So, you try to kill me so you don’t die — you try to kill me, then.
Cab­bie: Well, then you have to die.

–7th Ave South & Per­ry St

Nah, I’d Send in a Des­ig­nat­ed Hit­ter

Hot chick walks by in Yan­kees sweat­shirt.

Guy to friend: Dude. Dude, that girl is hot as fuck. I would hit that so hard.
Mets fan near­by: Ouch. Sucks she’s a Yan­kees fan.
Guy: What? Who the hell cares? She could have a fuck­ing pe­nis, and I’d still hit that shit up, down, left, right, and di­ag­o­nal­ly.
Mets fan: That’s kin­da gay.

–Times Square