Archive for 2006

It’s Also Where They Treat Albert’s Diabetes

Guy #1: Yo, where you live, son?
Guy #2: Up by the Fat Albert store, man.
Guy #1: Oh yeah? Son, I used to live right near there.
Guy #2: By the hospital?
Guy #1: Yeah, man! Ha, ha, that’s the hospital that I went to when I had the hepatitis, son! Yo for real though, that shit hurts.

–Chipotle, 44th & 9th

Overheard by: Chad F. 

Here Comes the Rain Again

Girl #1: Oh my god! I was peeing so much! It just kept coming! So like I was like sitting there all last period peeing!
Girl #2: Oh my god! You should go to a doctor.
Girl #1: Like, yeah…It was crazy. I just kept peeing…
Girl #2: The kid next to you is recording this on his cell phone.
Girl #1: Oh my god, stop!

–Goldstein High School, Manhattan Beach

Overheard by: Justin Fores 

Clean Yet Dirty (NYC Short Stories)

Teen girl #1: She once said to me, “I was thinking about us kissing in the shower.”
Teen girl #2: I hope you were wearing clothes.

–Canal & Broadway

Guy #1: Does she even shower?
Guy #2: That’s what I asked him. But then he said, “Not only does she shower, but then she licks my ass and jacks me off. It’s fucking great!”

–22nd & 3rd

Overheard by: Erin B 

Man #1: You smell great!
Man #2: Thanks. I haven’t bathed since eleven. 

–70th & Amsterdam

The Nice Ones Get Committed There

Guy#1: “Roosevelt Island”. Is this the same as Roosevelt Avenue?
Girl: I don’t know. Maybe.
Guy #1: Let’s try it.
Guy #2: You don’t want to get off here. Roosevelt Avenue is later.
Guy #1: Thanks. You know, I hear New Yorkers are mean but so far I’ve only met nice ones.

–F train

“No,” Zuul replied.

Girl: We were in the middle of having sex, and I was screaming, like, “Oh god, oh god.” He looked down at me and replied, “There is no God. I am your God.”
Guy: Uh huh.
Girl: It sucks because since then I haven’t been able to sleep with atheists. You’re not an atheist, are you?

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Sabrina 

Attack of the iPod People (NYC Short Stories)

Guy #1: My iPod called me a homo this morning.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: I had it on shuffle and it played a nonstop string of Rent, Oklahoma, Barbara Streisand, Donna Summer and, best of all, Annie: The Musical.
Guy #2: Wow, you said, “Best of all, Annie.” That’s amazingly gay.

–34th between 7th & 8th

Overheard by: cityhick