Chick #1: So she’s in San Francisco and can’t decide if she likes it enough to move there, so she makes a list of pros and cons.
Chick #2: What are the cons?
Chick #1: Well, the first one is, “too many Asians”.
–Cafe Centosette, 2nd Avenue
Archive for 2006
What a WAN Sense of Humor
Man: What’s the name of that wine? Lan?
Bartender guy: Yep, Lan.
Man: That doesn’t stand for Large Area Network, does it?
Bartender guy: Er, no.
Man: Good.
–Bar Minnow, Park Slope
Overheard by: Armchair Athlete
You Can Totally See Up HerSpace
Girl #1: I don’t have a boyfriend.
Professor guy: Sure, sure, sure..I can go on MySpace.com and find out the truth.
Class: Ha, ha, ha!
Professor guy: What? You think we don’t know about MySpace?
Girl #2: She has a picture of herself in underwear on hers!
–FIT
Silence is the Old Golden
Woman #1: You know, black is the new pink…Did you hear me?
Woman #2: Yeah, I just chose not to respond.
–Filene’s Basement, 79th & Broadway
Overheard by: lady cub
We’ve Found His Beloved Reggaeton
Girl #1: I went to a ghetto reception.
Girl #2: Was she pregnant?
Girl #1: Yeah, and everyone was wearing jeans.
–Q46 bus
Give Her a Second (or a Hand)
Teacher guy: You guys know that clock in Union Square that goes
backwards, right?
Teen girl: But why does it change?
–Midwood High School
She Couldn’t Pick One Easy to Remember
Old woman: I need to see the lady to get my PIN number to activate my card.
Old man: They sent you your PIN.
Old woman: I need to see that lady over there.
Old man: I’m telling you, you have your PIN already.
Old woman: Just shut your fucking mouth while I see the lady.
–Bank of America, Chambers & Broadway
Overheard by: Anna
Surely He Added “Please”
Teen boy #1: Yo, why the fuck these niggas keep getting on? Ain’t no room for them.
Teen boy #2: Next bus! Next bus, please!
Teen boy #1: Ugh, what the fuck, man? What they gonna do, climb up people’s ass?
Teen boy #3: The bus driver should tell them to move back.
Teen boy #1: Pssh, that shit don’t work.
Teen boy #3: Naw man, it does. Last time on the school bus, the driver was like, “Stop playin’, niggas.” For real, that’s what he said.
–Q13 bus
Don’t Listen, It’s a Trick!
Tourist lady: Excuse me, can you tell me which way Times Square is?
Guy: Um…really? Turn around lady.
–49th & 7th
Overheard by: Gregory
He’d Beat the Pulp Out of Them
Girl: Hey, you know I heard this guy did drugs one time, and he had some kind of permanent reaction, and now he thinks he’s a glass of orange juice!
Guy: Oh yeah, I heard about that. He goes around telling people not to tip him!
Girl: Yeah, yeah. Hey, imagine if he saw someone drinking orange juice.
Guy: Now that would be funny.
–Fontana Sushi, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Fiona F.
