Archive for 2006

God Help Us All (Hap­py East­er!)

Old man #1: Do you know why a bun­ny is con­nect­ed to East­er?
Old man #2: No.
Old man #1: It’s be­cause East­er is about fer­til­i­ty and rab­bits are an­i­mals that are al­ways cop­u­lat­ing.
Old man #2: Huh, I nev­er heard about that.
Old man #1: Think about it. On East­er, you have the bun­nies and the bun­nies have eggs and the eggs have chil­dren in them.

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Aman­da Mat­teis

I Like When She Eats the Car­rion

Teen girl #1: Bitch­es be dissin’ on Dis­ney Chan­nel.
Teen girl #2: Yeah.
Teen girl #1: But you know them bitch­es be run­nin’ home to watch That’s So Raven.
Teen girl #2: It’s 7:15.
Teen girl #1: Shit, we gonna miss it.

–4 train

Over­heard by: Noah Gal­lagher

Guys Al­ways Get to Pee Faster

Teen girl: My Face­book pass­word is “pee”.
Teen guy: “P”?
Teen girl: No, “pee”. P‑e-e. Like, to take a pee. I just could­n’t think of any­thing. It used to be “poo”. What­ev­er, it’ll prob­a­bly get hacked by some stalk­er any­way.
Teen guy: Who would hack your pro­file?
Teen girl: My broth­er did it be­fore. He guessed the pass­word in like three min­utes.

–Hay­den Hall Res­i­dence el­e­va­tor, Wash­ing­ton Square West

Looks Like Mean Peo­ple Do Suck

Guy: Are you go­ing to the gym af­ter this?
Girl: Are you go­ing to the mean house?
Guy: That was, with­out a doubt, the lamest come­back I have ever heard in my life.

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty, Rose Hill

Over­heard by: Jes­si­ca R

She Al­ready Got Downy

Woman #1: So I fucked this guy last night.
Woman #2: Re­al­ly? Cool.
Woman #1: Yeah, it was kin­da hard try­ing to get the cum out of my work clothes…
Woman #2: Mm-hmm, I heard that vine­gar and Tide can get that right out.

–B68 bus

Over­heard by: Trevlond